Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Am I just perpetuating the psychological/emotional abuse from my family?

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A post to my page today, that I have no doubt, is part of my ongoing issues…

I wonder sometimes, if I don’t ‘allow’ myself anywhere near enough ‘good’ in my life, because I still subconsciously do not believe I deserve it.

Intellectually, I can talk about all the reasons I do deserve good in my life, how none of the abuse was my fault and I absolutely know that.

But, intellectual knowledge and understanding, is not enough.

It needs to reach the subconscious, reach the heart and soul.

I sometimes wonder if I am just continuing and perpetuating the shame, harm and abuse my family started and they continued, for 40 years of my life, until I cut them off.

Maybe I heard so much, and was treated for so long (by too many abusers) in a way that said I am worthless and that anything good for me was wrong, that subconsciously, I still believe that.

Do this resonate with you?

If it does, please know, complex trauma, is a massively challenging and multi-layered disorder and what we are dealing with, is normal for what we have endured.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

One thought on “Am I just perpetuating the psychological/emotional abuse from my family?

  1. This resonates with me. Yes, it does. I want to write more, but I feel so beaten down by this day that I’m going to go to bed hoping that I have a night free of tossing, turning, nightmares and so on. Thank you for this wonderful blog.