I think I have hit the nail on the head tonight.
Shame and guilt, which are huge issues for all complex trauma survivors.
I still have them, which probably adds to my ongoing nightmares, depression and then in turn PTSD issues and emotional flashbacks.
This is another of those ‘I can explain it all intellectually’, but I can’t feel it in my heart and soul’ issues.
I’m too tired and too emotional to write anymore about that.
I’m waiting for my husband to go to work, so I drink beer.
I am going to have to say in counselling that I can’t deal with current stuff, I need to deal with this past stuff, or it is never going to get dealt with.
No more talking about Tony Abbott, or internet trolls, or churches, or the state of society etc.
Deal with the real issues screwing my life up.