Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Church people too often, are apathetic bystanders = abuse enablers.

Many Church people delude themselves with this ‘we all sin, we cannot judge’ crap, and cheap grace, that enables everyone to sin and just maybe say a quick pathetic ‘sorry’ and then apparently that means repentance and they won’t do it again. And it’s okay to abuse children with harsh physical abuse, and just ignore that.

Hey. it’s ONLY abuse, child abuse, spiritual abuse….what does that matter?

I even heard recently that it is okay if the wrong message is being spoken in churches, even if it is preaching God has evil in Him, as long as people are preaching Him. Wow. That is so not okay. So apparently the abusive, unhealthy church I was abused at, by a minister, is okay to continue preaching God is a sociopath and it’s okay to hurt people, physically abuse children, spiritually abuse anyone. Wow.

That deeply offends my understanding of God. That deeply offends my understanding of the harm to people this causes.

I currently have a survivor of church/religious abuse I talk with on Twitter. She/he has been hurt deeply by church people, being abusive, in childhood onwards. She/he is now an atheist. And I absolutely understand why. I am modelling to her/him, how I do NOT agree or justify what these abusive church people have done, including harsh physical discipline and how I know Jesus does not either. I don’t ‘tell’ her/him to believe in God, or make any assumptions as to what will happen if she/he doesn’t, because that is NOT my judgment to make, and I believe God has mercy and deep understanding for abused people who have been abused in His name.

All I can do, is to say, quite categorically – I do NOT think it is okay what has happened to this person, I do NOT condone it or justify it, like others will, and that I care, and I do not think any less of this person, in fact I have great compassion, patience and love for this person. And that, is all I need to do.

I don’t tell her/him to hate the people that abused her/him, and I also do not force the issue of forgiveness, because how would I know whether that is appropriate? I don’t. In fact I know it isn’t. That is another abuse far too many church people inflict on people. I don’t have this entitled need to force this on others. I just want to love them.

And this person has searched this blog and been tearful, but in a good way, to read my views on this. Particularly what I wrote about my understanding of ‘spare the rod, spoil the child’. Because I will NEVER accept that taking belts etc to children/teenagers is okay – it is not. It is abuse. Child abuse. As confirmed by my Christian doctor.

But, it does offend my soul when I see God spoken of bu church people, in terms of being a sociopath, or see people being hurt and harmed by unwise, immature church people. Particularly as they harm others, in the name of God, using perfect God, as the excuse.

It would appear that having integrity to what you know, having spiritual courage to say ‘this is not okay’ and having empathy with abuse victims, is considered wrong in society.

But, apathy, egocentricity, having a ‘ah well, what can you do’ attitude, is okay. I don’t agree.

And, I am glad that this abused survivor, who was pushed away from God, as a result of abuse condoned by far too many church people, is able to read what I believe and know.

Being a ‘real’ witness for Jesus, is important to me. Even if it’s one only person. It’s not about numbers.

And I know I do not do this perfectly, but I do it way better than so many church people I see, who have no clue who God is, and no clue as to what Jesus modelled.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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