Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

This is why I can write, but never verbalise this, with anyone. I don’t ‘do’ intimacy.


By Pete Walker…

Intimacy and the Outer Critic.

Complex PTSD typically includes an attachment disorder, which arises from the childhood experience of not having at least one caretaker safe enough to go to for comfort or help.

When the developing child lacks a supportive parental refuge, she never learns that interrelating can soothe and metabolize confusions, conflicts and hurts. She also never learns that real intimacy grows out of sharing all of one’s experience – the good and the bad, the happy and the sad, the loving and the mad.

To the degree we are vulnerable and authentic in relationship, to that degree do we experience the incomparable healing power of intimacy. However, to the degree that our caretakers attack, shame or abandon us for showing vulnerability, to that degree do we later avoid the authentic self-expression fundamental to intimacy.

Inclinations to verbalize feelings, ask for help or reveal one’s struggles are short-circuited by subliminal memories of being scorned or attacked for daring to seek our parents’ support.

Click to access ShrinkingOuterCritic.pdf

I cannot be vulnerable this way, with anyone in person.

I just can’t.

Which is another reason I quit counselling. I will never be able to speak to anyone about the worst stuff, or my worst fears and emotions. So, I am wasting her time. And I know that.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

2 thoughts on “This is why I can write, but never verbalise this, with anyone. I don’t ‘do’ intimacy.

  1. I so relate to your posts.
    thank you for sharing.