Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

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Podcasts….been thinking about recording stuff for a while…

Writing is definitely more my current ‘thing’, than verbalising stuff.

But, I am also a very chatty talker too. As anyone who knows me, will know.

So, I am wondering if Podcasts could be my next step in reaching out to more people.

Podcasts, recorded in the very real and raw way I write, could be something worthwhile considering.

Encouraging, inspirational ones, but also validating the pain and struggle of this journey, which I know, deeply.

I could also do faith ones and talk about my own personal understanding of God, from my place of further faith stage, than many Church people – now that would be pretty amazing. The perfect God part, not me.

I could record all I know about narcissism and sociopaths and how to heal from their abuse, due to my extensive experiences of enduring them.

And record my poems.

Something to really ponder on and pray about.


I’ve always wanted to get tattoos, so considering it…:)

My husband is funny sometimes ๐Ÿ™‚

He saw how happy I was, to accept something good about myself today and said “you always wanted to get a tattoo, please go get two, one for each side of your hand that says ‘published’ on one and ‘author’ on the other – as a daily reminder.”

He knows I like the tattoo’s my favourite singer/songwriter has – Lana Del Rey. So, I’ll add a pic of hers, to illustrate where he thinks mine should be.

He was so happy to see me happy and told me he is proud of me, as I have achieved more than many, who haven’t been through half of what I have.

It was nice to have his love and support, as he is not a man of many words.

Lana Del Rey tattoo’s.

Posts like this, make me realise, how important it is, to help others.

There are a lot of people suffering in this world, who need help, who need compassion, and validation that their pain, is real and is okay because they have been subjected to abuse, and that is painful.

Society wants to minimize and dismiss abuse.

And that does not lead to healing.

And it makes me realise, how there are not many with insight into complex trauma, to the extent needed.

How I define myself…:-)

I am;

A cherished child of God, dearly loved by Jesus โค

A loving wife โค

A loving mother โค

A healing, hurt person โค

A 'real' friend โค

A 'God's wisdom' seeker, who knows I will never be wise enough โค

A compassionate soul โค

A person who is honest about weaknesses and wants to change them โค

An honest and open writer โค

A website author โค

An honest and raw blogger โค

An online community admin โค

A validator, empathic supporter, compassionate carer โค

I think that's enough for today.


My Website, recommended by professionals, of which I am the ‘author’ ;-)


I just did a Google search to link my Website and the search was set on images, and nearly all of the images that came up, were mine!

My bubble just got bigger!

And for anyone who knows my sense of humour, knows, I am not being prideful, I am seeing the humour in this, as I always can.

Although my husband did just nearly make me cry, when he said he was proud of me and proud of being the husband of an author! Nawwww!

I got past the oncoming tears, by laughing and told him to make an appointment to speak to me, and he laughed! lol!

Settle humorous ego, settle ๐Ÿ˜‰

Gotta laugh when you can! ๐Ÿ™‚

Achievements that come from a good heart, to help others, are always the best!

When I wrote my Website, I did it because I could see there was a lack of understanding about complex PTSD out there and wanted to give my perspective, as so many people on my facebook page said I had a gift of writing and expression and a gift of understanding.

So, I wrote my Website to spread more of that to help more people and so more people would feel less alone and more validated in what they are going through.

I know how popular it is, by the search results whenever I am looking for info about trauma.

It is very popular and I have professionals commenting.

I don’t think it is the best, but it helps.

And I did it for others, not for myself.

Not to get paid, or make money. I don’t have my name on there.

Most days I don’t even think about it.

But, it is a big achievement and so for that – I will feel some pride, because I ‘know’ the motivation is was written with.

Most people, if they are really honest, write for the money or the pride factor. I don’t.

Although, it is big ‘well you were so wrong – weren’t you – to all those who put me down and made me feel like crap and treated me with no worth. What have they done with their lives? And that includes my ‘family’. What they have done with their lives is only about self and nothing worthy of any celebration. Dragging up their kids and nothing done for others. Living in their bitter, shallow lives. And they treated me like crap. So all my achievements are a bit of a middle finger to them. Continue reading

I have wanted to be an ‘Author’ ever since I read ‘Little Women’ as a child.

I loved the book Little Women as a child. Books were my refuge, escape from the abuse in my childhood, along with dancing.

I loved ‘Jo’ the sister that was a little feisty, someone who didn’t go along like a sheep and follow the crowd.

She was intelligent, determined, and had a gift for writing and didn’t care about the shallow crap of the rich society she lived in.

A bit like me ๐Ÿ˜€

I often wanted to be Jo, when I escaped into my dream world.

When I was 20, and the psychopath went to prison, from that point onwards, I always thought I would write a book about my life.

Well, I haven’t written a book yet, but I have written about my life, every day, since I set up my Facebook page, then this blog and then my published website.

My previous counsellor, encouraged me that I could write books later in my healing.

But, I didn’t realise, I am already an author, a published author, on my published website, where I have written about my life, and written a lot, in my own words.

I am an author – I like saying that….:-D

Sod the ego issue – I am going to be damn proud and revel in my achievement!

That wasn’t even set up and written to be an achievement – it was written to help others.

It wasn’t written to make money – it was done to help others.

I often don’t even think about it.

Which makes I even better!!!!! ๐Ÿ˜€

And if my doctor were to read this, she would probably think Oh Praise God she found something good to think about of herself!!! lol! ๐Ÿ™‚

So, yes, Praise God, indeed! โค


I have a published Website, therefore, I am an “Internet Author”.

I feel weird saying I am an ‘author’.

But I am.

I have a published internet website, with written work of mine, in my own words ๐Ÿ™‚

Therefore, I can legitimately call myself an author. A Website Author.

I feel a little proud of that achievement!

So, no-one is allowed to come and crap on my little bubble of happiness…okay!!! ๐Ÿ˜‰


Just need to get on with writing my first book and I will also be a published Book Author.

I think this is the most I have smiled, in weeks!


Humility…what it is/isn’t…and why it takes courage & self insight, to have humility.

I believe humility is…

Not minimizing our strengths…

But the capacity to see, acknowledge and admit our weaknesses.

And not hiding weaknesses, or pretend they don’t exist.

Or refuse to acknowledge them at all.

And this is where pride/ego comes in.

Not that pathetic attitude some Christians can believe of not saying we are good at anything and downplaying it, to make ourselves look so ‘oh so humble’…that’s fake.

It is okay to know and acknowledge our strengths. Without pride-fully boasting.

It is needed to acknowledge our weaknesses, without feeling shame and having to pretend.

It takes courage to have humility.

And have honesty about ourselves.

And the capacity to have self insight.

Something I see is not common. Continue reading