Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

One of my role models Hetty Johnston receives Queens Birthday Honours!!

Hetty Johnston of Bravehearts Inc…..is an amazing woman, who I admire greatly and really aspire to be like.

Her passion for child protection, her tireless work, is truly amazing!!!

I am so happy for her 🙂


Reflecting on the positives of my ‘work’ today :)

I rarely reflect about what I have done throughout the day, the info and support I have given to 100’s of people, each day.

But, today I did. Just to have some self esteem about what I do, why, and what I have achieved, that is good.

I also wrote it on my community page, to model how healthy self esteem, is not about minimizing our strengths – we can be okay and acknowledge them and what we achieve, but……whilst also acknowledging, owning our weaknesses and being willing to work on them.

Weak, ego people can’t do the latter. Healing people, often can’t do the former.

I wrote;

I don’t ever do this, but today I am reflecting on what I have achieved today 🙂

Today., I have posted about;

PTSD triggers.
PTSD stressors.
Self care being important.
Why apathy, stealing is not okay.
How to not accept abusive people’s opinion of us.
How to have better self esteem.
Info on healthy emotional boundaries.
Info about narcissistic abuse, sociopaths.
Info about being the child of a narc parent.
Why abuse in church’s is not okay.
Given an example of why opinions, should not always be shared.
Several encouraging quotes.
Lots of similar info on Twitter.
A post where community members could share their music.
A light hearted post.
A funny post.
Posted about different forms of abuse.
Posted about ‘all or nothing behaviours’.
Posted about dissociation.
And more.

I’d say that is a pretty well balanced list, for the ‘wholeness in healing’ approach, that I have for this page

I’d say that’s a pretty successful day, in the life of an admin who care about her community Continue reading


Nothing offends me more, than vulnerable people targeted for abuse, in the name of God.

I will never be apathetic about this.


I don’t care what people think of me, about this either.

Jesus was not apathetic about abuse, or God being used as the excuse, and He got angry.

He is my role model, no-one else.

I am a Christian, wanting to be more like Jesus, not trying to be more like ‘Christians’ – who are mostly just church people.


I know that, but sadly most church people don’t.

If church people want to be apathetic, well that’s their sin and shame to deal with, not mine.

And they can harp about grace, their cheap grace all they like, cheap grace is sin too. Cheap grace is for non Christians. For people who have no spiritual integrity.


Just found out Pastor A. Allinson, is continuing his need to do ‘counselling’. So not okay.

This man is a liar, who spiritually abused me, used his counselling privilege to gain access to someone vulnerable and groomed me in the process.

His dark needs to ‘counsel’ people, is not okay and needs stopping by someone with the backbone to stop this.

This is the man who admitted he ‘had feelings for me that should only be for his wife’ during a time when I was having an emotional breakdown and in writing. Who pushed for time alone at my home, which he did know was against pastor rules, made no record of his visits to my home, pushed for full body hugs, put his hand on my thigh when talking to me, who’s wife admitted he’s a liar, called me demonic at a mediation in front of witnesses, and had obvious narc rage.

And he’s still a pastor due to a pathetic in house investigation.

And they are letting this man do more counselling.

I do not want more people hurt by this man.

I will start contacting people now.

I will send people the messages I have and state that my professional support also confirmed this was abuse.

Someone has to have some integrity to stop this man.

Church people – if you use harsh physical punishment on your children – you are a sociopath.

It is as simple as that.

Using pain on anyone – for any reason, in a planned way, using God as the excuse – makes you a sociopath.

And that includes all the people who do this at North Pine Baptist Church, Queensland.

I know you do this, because I have been told directly from church members and those high up your little ladder of importance that you do this, to teenagers and you encourage harsh physical punishment on children and even babies.

You are sociopaths. And the weak ones who follow along mindlessly like sheep, are just sociopath apaths, who condone it.

You choose evil, pain to, hurt your children.

You are disgusting, all of you.

I pray for your children. all of them. They don’t deserve to have to endure you as parents.

In my opinion, you are full on sociopaths who haven’t got a clue who Jesus is.

And your church, is more like a cult, than you will ever admit, or understand.

Why? Because sociopaths are considered to be ‘morally insane’ and that is what you are. Totally unable to reflect about it.

I pity you, all.

And I am angry, because child abuse is disgusting.

We are deeply blessed to have been delivered by God, from your ‘church’.

I praise God for that. He always keeps us safe, from evil. And I leave your fate to Him.

But, you still disgust me, every time I think about one of your babies getting smacked, one of your teenagers getting belted.

No wonder you condone a narcissistic, abusive pastor/pastors wife.

You wouldn’t know morals and right from wrong, or the truth, if it got up and smacked you in the mouth. Sociopaths and sociopath apaths, don’t.

What I think of abuse occurring within churches – in plain sight. It disgusts my soul.

A post to my community page.

As a Christian – who does ‘not’ push my faith on anyone – I feel deeply angered, and upset for anyone who has endured abuse from church people (they are not Christians if they abuse), who abuse people, their children, the congregation, their spouses etc.

I see a massive need to help support people who have been abused spiritually and also then emotionally, mentally etc as well.

Please know, I do NOT condone this in any way, at all. The fact that it is enabled and encouraged within churches – is DISGUSTING!!

The fact that so many physically abuse their children, with harsh physical ‘discipline’ disgusts me. I know a church that encourage people to take belts to their teenagers, one of the elders wives told me, herself. Evil.

I am also very much angered by all the apathy about this, look the other way, use of cheap grace and forced forgiveness etc.

I am even a little angry with my own doctor for having such an apathetic take on this. That upsets my soul too. I feel too many church people are apathetic about this.

I am NOT pushing this an a faith issue, I am voicing how I feel deeply for people abused, in the name of God, by these disgusting people. And whilst I do not repay evil, with evil, I also am very rightfully angry about this.

There needs to be more people like me, willing to say – what these church people and ministers do is absolutely wrong and it is abuse and they should be STOPPED!

This subject really and deeply offends my soul, so please be tolerant of that – as it is also supporting the survivors of churches, survivors of the sociopaths that are attracted to church, to use religion as an excuse to abuse.

So, this post is support anyone in this community, who has endured this.

So please DO NOT use this to speak of your religious views, or atheist views etc – this is about support for abuse survivors. If anyone does, the comment will be removed.

Thank you

((((((((((hugs))))))))) to anyone who needs one

“Crawling In My Skin”

A song, I deeply relate to, the severe abuse from a psychopath, in captivity, as his sex object.

The flashbacks, the fear, the dissociation I have now, too.


Crawling in my skin
These wounds they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

There’s something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming, confusing
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending
Controlling. I can’t seem…

To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(without a sense of confidence and I’m convinced that there’s just too much pressure to take)
I’ve felt this way before
So insecure


Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It’s haunting how I can’t seem…


[Chorus] Continue reading