Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Added a Donations Facility to my Website – after a year of considering it…. :)


I created a website a year ago and it was set up to help people and give some of my unique perspective, as a survivor of complex trauma, as there is a lack of this.

This being due to so many people relating to, and gaining support from my insight, benefiting from all my research and all I learn in counselling – which I share with increasing amounts of people, professionals, and supporters of those healing.

It has been suggested to me many time, to add a donations facility, but I didn’t, because this is not about money to me.

My Website does have a large amount of traffic and does help many people and if people wish to kindly donate, which will help me fund publishing books, then it is okay.

I have been told, I should allow people the opportunity to be kind and feel blessed, should they wish to kindly donate.

I feel a bit weird about it, but I guess I will get used to it.


I know my views on spanking/smacking children, are unpopular. I don’t care.

I’m not a hypocrite and abuse is abuse.

Deliberately inflicting pain on a child – and calling it discipline, is abuse.

Smacking, spanking, any of it, that involves deliberately inflicting pain, is assault, and abuse.

Children don’t have a voice, so I will be one.

Adults don’t want to be hit – so how it is acceptable to hit children?

I admit, I have smacked my children a handful of times in the past, and I deeply regret it and I have apologised to them.

I am honest, not a hypocrite and I don’t make justifications and excuses for doing wrong. I own it. Fully. I have courage to do that.

I have humility to know that experts know better than I do and it makes sense to me, when I read all the massive amounts of research and now neuroscience proving the damage physical abuse – spanking, hitting, does.

And I do not use the Bible as an excuse to spank my children by interpreting the Bible wrongly to fit my own earthly, dark, sinful needs.

There are no studies that show smacking, spanking is an effective way to manage behaviour.

But plenty that show how it affects a child’s growing brain and causes long term consequences.

And evidence that in countries where all forms of hitting children have been outlawed, crime, gun ownership, abuse and prison populations reduced considerably.

It takes courage and integrity to tell parents via social media that what they are doing is abuse – with info and links as to why.

If they don’t like it, that is not my problem.

I am more aware/concerned about their children’s long term health, than they are.

Child abuse, is everyone’s problem, everyone’s responsibility.

And virtually all people who abuse, in any form – won’t have the courage to accept it’s abuse and make excuses. Parents often being the worst.


I’ve always craved genuine, non sexual affection, which is why I’ve always been a ‘huggy’ person.

A post to my page….so people can understand their needs, more….

I’ve always been a very huggy person – with people I know.

When drunk – I always hugged anyone and everyone too and told everyone I love them…..which I’m not encouraging.

I think it’s partly because I like to hug people and want them to feel loved and partly because I crave the non sexual, genuine, caring affection, I never received in my childhood.

Of course, my soft boundaries and need to hug people, has been taken advantage of, including by a narc church pastor – who seemed to believe that was a green light for his sexual adulterous intentions….so now I’m more careful.

Have you craved the affection not received in childhood?

Safe, genuine ((((((((hugs))))))) to anyone who needs one today

Unmet childhood needs, continue right on into adulthood.

I’ve even dreamed about my doctor hugging me. Which as embarrassing as that is, I know why, and understand why, and would not actually do. I know boundaries…now.

It’s my hurt, neglected inner child, wanting love, from family, I never had, that looks to seek it in people I have any level of trust in, who show me caring, in any way.

I also know why hugs from my husband, are often not the hugs I seek. Because my inner child is seeking hugs, from people who have no sexual intentions/needs in me. And my husband obviously has sexual needs and attraction to me, so those inner child needs, reject that.

To know this, have self compassion and understand why and how to have better boundaries – is needed, and part of healing.