Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I’ve always craved genuine, non sexual affection, which is why I’ve always been a ‘huggy’ person.


A post to my page….so people can understand their needs, more….

I’ve always been a very huggy person – with people I know.

When drunk – I always hugged anyone and everyone too and told everyone I love them…..which I’m not encouraging.

I think it’s partly because I like to hug people and want them to feel loved and partly because I crave the non sexual, genuine, caring affection, I never received in my childhood.

Of course, my soft boundaries and need to hug people, has been taken advantage of, including by a narc church pastor – who seemed to believe that was a green light for his sexual adulterous intentions….so now I’m more careful.

Have you craved the affection not received in childhood?

Safe, genuine ((((((((hugs))))))) to anyone who needs one today

Unmet childhood needs, continue right on into adulthood.

I’ve even dreamed about my doctor hugging me. Which as embarrassing as that is, I know why, and understand why, and would not actually do. I know boundaries…now.

It’s my hurt, neglected inner child, wanting love, from family, I never had, that looks to seek it in people I have any level of trust in, who show me caring, in any way.

I also know why hugs from my husband, are often not the hugs I seek. Because my inner child is seeking hugs, from people who have no sexual intentions/needs in me. And my husband obviously has sexual needs and attraction to me, so those inner child needs, reject that.

To know this, have self compassion and understand why and how to have better boundaries – is needed, and part of healing.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

5 thoughts on “I’ve always craved genuine, non sexual affection, which is why I’ve always been a ‘huggy’ person.

  1. Great post
    I feel the same way about hugs.
    I’ll take the virtual hug you offered here and hugs right back.
    Tee ❤

  2. Not me, I dont seem to need it. Didnt get much growing up,maybe Ive just learned to shut it off because it wasnt there.

  3. I feel the same about hugs. Something very comforting and assuring to get a good hug.

  4. I think that I trained myself not to want them, since I rarely got them. It wasn’t until I started teaching pre-kindergarten-1st grades as an adult that I understood the value of that non sexual contact…those sticky little people taught me so much more than I ever taught them!