Less obvious abuse/neglect/parenting issues, is causing widespread mental health issues..

I am a survivor of severe abuse, prolonged, interpersonal, severely traumatic abuse – and I ‘know’ my issues, I know I have PTSD, I know why, I have deep insight and I have educated myself and through counselling into trauma and it’s consequences.

But, I see clearly how far less obvious childhood issues, can lead to greater mental health issues and far less capacity to have self insight, or change.

Some examples;

Over-indulgent parents – can lead to their children being entitled, narcissistic adults.

Parents who lack empathy, don’t teach/model that for their children – so they also become lacking in empathy, and can be hurtful to others and lack remorse or conscience, which stays in adulthood.

Parents who spank/smack their children – can often lead to their children becoming depressed, low self esteem, have anxiety issues and have increased anger, violence, crime, in adulthood.

Parents who are materialistic, status orientated, work more than they ‘need’ to for ‘things’, are time poor – can lead to all manner of issues in their childhood and this leave long term issues into adulthood.

Parents who are very controlling – this again can lead to big issues. I know one woman who is very controlling and her daughter has BPD/alcohol issues, as a result. This mother is totally oblivious to the harm caused by her parenting. She doesn’t see it is anything to do with her, at all. But, I do. Controlling parents cause many mental health issues in their children, that continue on into adulthood.

Parents who think it’s funny to put down people and be bitchy etc – teach their children to be the same – be bullies, remaining into adulthood.

There are so many more I could list.

Why not all PTSD sufferers, are angry. Not all are ‘Fight’ response = narcissistic.

http://www.pete-walker.com/fourFs_TraumaTypologyComplexPTSD.htm

There different trauma typology responses – produce very different behaviours in PTSD sufferers.

This is particularly true for those who had abuse in childhood.

I get annoyed when I see some PTSD sufferers talk about their anger being okay and implying ‘all’ PTSD sufferers have it. Call it their ‘outbursts’ etc – and justify it by blaming their PTSD.

This is not true at all.

Well, not all PTSD sufferers have ‘fight’ as their trauma typology response and those who do – still have a responsibility to manage it – not just feel entitled to it and blame their PTSD. And own the fact that their trauma response is not what all PTSD suffers experience at all and they need to own their anger and deal with it.

PTSD and Narcissism are linked and you can see this displayed so clearly in some – big ego’s, get angry, blame their PTSD and feel entitled to it. All narcissistic behaviours/thinking.

I am an empath, always validating to read others who understand my character/personality.

Great Article on Empaths

TRAITS OF AN EMPATH by Christel Broederlow

Empaths are often quiet achievers. They can take a while to handle a compliment for they’re more inclined to point out another’s positive attributes. They are highly expressive in all areas of emotional connection, and talk openly, and, at times quite frankly. They may have few problems talking about their feelings if another cares to listen (regardless of how much they listen to others).

However, they can be the exact opposite: reclusive and apparently unresponsive at the best of times. They may even appear ignorant. Some are very good at “blocking out” others and that’s not always a bad thing, at least for the learning empath struggling with a barrage of emotions from others, as well as their own feelings.

Empaths have a tendency to openly feel what is outside of them more so than what is inside of them. This can cause empaths to ignore their own needs. In general an empath is non-violent, non-aggressive and leans more towards being the peacemaker. Any area filled with disharmony creates an uncomfortable feeling in an empath. If they find themselves in the middle of a confrontation, they will endeavor to settle the situation as quickly as possible, if not avoid it all together. If any harsh words are expressed in defending themselves, they will likely resent their lack of self-control, and have a preference to peacefully resolve the problem quickly.

Empaths are more inclined to pick up another’s feelings and project it back without realizing its origin in the first place. Talking things out is a major factor in releasing emotions in the learning empath. Empaths can develop an even stronger degree of understanding so that they can find peace in most situations. The downside is that empaths may bottle up emotions and build barriers sky-high so as to not let others know of their innermost thoughts and/or feelings. This withholding of emotional expression can be a direct result of a traumatic experience, an expressionless upbringing, or simply being told as a child, “Children are meant to be seen and not heard!”