Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


How abusive people – view abuse. Apaths, Egocentrics, Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychpaths.

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

Apaths – I can’t be bothered to be concerned about abuse. Who cares. Boring. I know people who say they are being abused. I ignore it. Not my problem, is it? And I like that person they said was an abuser.

Egocentrics – Abuse doesn’t affect me, so why should I care? They should deal with their own problems behind closed doors and not bother others. Now can we get back to my problems.

Narcissists – I think it’s fine to use people, treat people badly, then lie, deny, project, if you need to. That’s life. Everyone does it. Don’t criticise me, or I will have a tantrum and deny it all.

Sociopaths – I do plan hurting others, because I think it’s funny to watch people get upset. It’s not my problem they are weak. And I’ll do it again. It’s fun and I enjoy it. You don’t agree…

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How Christians deal with church abuse. Apaths, Egocentrics, Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths.

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

Some examples of Christian abusers, and how they deal with abuse.


Yeah, I know there are some Bible verses somewhere about abuse and I think Jesus helped abused people, but I’m not Jesus. We’re all sinners, so whatever. Not my problem. Oh and that minister who was accused of abuse, I like him, so that victim must have been lying. The minister never hurt me. Yeah that victim must be lying.


I have enough ministry in church to deal with and dealing with abuse is not part of that. I only bother with stuff that I enjoy and like. I’m not interested in helping that abuse victim. And anyway I have enough of my own problems, I need to talk about, so can we focus on that.


I want people to look up to me, so I will say and do all the right things, learn as…

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What is Christian Prosperity Teaching….

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD



I watched Joyce Myer the other day on the TV.

She is very engaging, very charming, funny – you know as narcissistic trait types – who love the limelight, can be.

At the end of her show, as always – she has a big promotion of all the DVD’s you can buy – to end up just like her. When you go in any Christian bookstore – there is whole section for Joyce.

I’ve only read one of her books, a few years ago – I got to the part of her wealth and I thought – this is not right….and then I did not know about prosperity teaching, and the sin of this – I worked this out by myself.

But, anyway back to Joyce – yay – if I listen to Joyce, I will get rich – because God will love me more and provide wealth for me…

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In therapy, to deal with all the people who should be in therapy.

There is so much truth in this.

I’ve been subject to so many people’s issues – they have projected onto me. I had soft boundaries, I was vulnerable, I had no self worth – I was the perfect victim/prey. I have suffered massively in my life due to other peoples ‘issues’.

My childhood was totally fucked up because of everyone else’s deep mental health issues. I continued to be re-victimised and didn’t know I should stop it, I believed I deserved it.

I said to my doctor recently that I see clearly that probably 90% of society needs therapy for their issues – most of whom have no clue they even have issues – they think they are fine, normal. But, I see clearly the cognitive distortions, unwise thinking.

Learning all about this, has been a massive enlightenment with putting together all have seen and known through my life, with psychology understanding. Continue reading


No expectations. No disappointments.

I my life experiences, I have learned, that expectation of people, leads to getting hurt.

Humans, are deeply sinful. Often lacking in integrity. Often very selfish. Often dishonest.

I have tried many times, to trust people, to expect good, and mostly been very disappointed, very hurt too often, abused too much. Yes, I probably expect too much from people…like honesty. Like…wisdom. Like…unselfishness. These seem beyond the capacity of many.

I feel very disconnected from society, from people. Always have done. I’ve always seen all these issues people have and tolerated them, assumed it was me that had the problem. Now, I know it isn’t me.

It’s hard being someone with life wisdom, a deeper understanding of people’s issues than they have of themselves, with growing psychology understanding.

I am a Christian, I am meant to tolerate people, and I always have. I still do. But, in no way, is my increasing awareness of humanity, giving me more capacity to trust in people, in fact it is exactly the opposite. And Jesus knew not to trust people, He knew all the disciples would fail Him. And they did, when the shit hit the fan. A perfect Biblical illustration of human weakness. Yes, He still loved them, but He knew not to trust them.

If you never trust, you never expect, you don’t end up disappointed, don’t get hurt. After my life, it is the way I know I need to be.

I don’t think people who lack courage, who lack honesty, who lack integrity, who lack compassion, who can’t be trusted – are bad. They are who they are. But, I know all too well the hurt and harm this can cause and does cause.

I’ve always said, to trust anyone, to expect good to happen, to expect anything good from people – has always been my greatest form of self harm – and it was. Continue reading


Cancelling appt with psychiatrist this week.

I am aware if I talk about certain things, it will become part of my medical records.

Should I ever need legal help, due to anything – abusive, manipulative people, will use whatever I have on my medical records, against me.

I don’t intend taking that chance. It’s bad enough having PTSD on my medical records – which is little understood by so many.

I do not intend to allow my PTSD etc, to be used as scapegoat again, this has already happened by church people.

I intend being very careful from now on, what I speak about with anyone, even in counselling. I know what I am dealing with, I know why. I have deep insight and awareness of my mind and it’s high capacity to function.

I don’t trust people to do what’s right, because so few do. People use whatever they can, lie, manipulate…it’s human nature.

Paranoid – no.

Vigilant – yes.

Discernment – yes.

Wise – yes.

Insightful into humanity – yes.

Experienced into humanity – yes.

Stupid – no.