Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Husband now off for 3 weeks & boys will be home for 2 weeks soon…

I crave and need my time alone, every day. It is vital for my capacity to cope with severe complex PTSD.

I’m not sure how I am going to manage, with my husband home now for 3 weeks and in a weeks time, my children are on school holidays for 2 weeks.

I love my family deeply – but I do not cope well around them, in large doses and need the time they are in work and school, to de-stress and do my thing and be alone.

I don’t want to have to write this, but I am always honest and this is going to ‘interesting’. My emotional numbing is great at the moment, but how long that will last around 2 busy boys, an impatient husband and no regular breaks – well…

My eldest child is booked in for camp a few days, each of the two weeks of the holidays, as he loves all the physical activities, canoeing, rock wall climbing, hut making etc. Stacks of fun for him, being a physical, social boy.

I’ve asked my husband to take them out a few times, when I need a break, which he is fine about.

But, he wants to paint 3 bedrooms while he is off. *sigh.

My husband is also an active man, who does not like sitting around. I used to be like that – constantly on full throttle, never stopped. He liked that about me. Now, he has a wife who is the opposite. But, he knows it isn’t laziness, because the first 11 years he has been with me, I was the opposite of lazy. In fact, he used to call me superwoman.

Well, superwoman I am no more, but, I have other things going on, so I have to be okay with that.

It will be interesting to see what I am writing in 3 weeks time…

I also realise, I am such a contradiction in how I feel. I crave being alone, but feel lonely. What’s up with that?? *sigh.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Comments are closed.