Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Thankful to Clementine Ford for her views ‘There is no such thing as Survivor Privilege’.

http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-opinion/theres-no-such-thing-as-survivor-privilege-20140616-3a89g.html

All of this is from ^ article.

Conservative old white men don’t have the best track record when it comes to discussing sexual assault in a sensitive and intelligent manner. In the US, there’s Republican congressman and former Presidential candidate Ron Paul, who once referred to ‘honest rape’; Republican state representative Richard Rivard complained that “some girls, they rape so easy”; Republican Gubernatorial candidate, who famously stated that “if [rape] is inevitable, just relax and enjoy it; and who can forget the Republican congressman and former Senate candidate Todd Akin advising that, where pregnancy and rape are concerned, “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down”? Yes Todd, but only if she’s a duck.

Now we can add one more to the list of men who really shouldn’t be given a platform to share opinions on things they clearly know little about. Just over a week ago, Pulitzer prize winning journalist and conservative commentator George F. Will wrote a column for the Washington Post in which he lamented the ‘progressivism’ that American college campuses have been embracing, particularly in regards to the “supposed campus epidemic of rape”. Such ill thought out capitulation to a leftist liberal agenda has only resulted in one thing, Will writes: “That when they make victimhood a coveted status that confers privileges, victims proliferate.” As Jessica Valenti wrote in response, “Rape victims get called a lot of things [but] the last word I ever expected to hear to describe a rape victim is ‘privileged’.”
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Every person who made a real difference in life, had their haters. Even Jesus.

Nothing good ever gets accomplished from a place of ease and comfort or by being a people pleaser.

To accomplish something needed in life – like dealing with abuse and being a voice for people suffering – honesty and courage is required and it will piss some people off.

People only hear what they want to hear – because they are weak.

Jesus had his haters, those who didn’t like what He spoke, those who hated that it didn’t fit with their strong beliefs that were for their own self motivated needs, or dark hearts.

The truth looks like hate….to those who hate the truth.


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Invalidation, minimization, not being ‘allowed’ my emotions. Still huge triggers.

I’ve had this all my life and they are massive triggers for me. Had this now for 43 years.

It’s why I stay away from everyone, because most of society does it.

I got really angry an hour ago, because I hate the bullshit that is perpetuated in society that makes lives for survivors of severe abuse, harder.

My anger was invalidated by someone here on my own blog – because apparently it’s not okay to vent and be angry. Why is it so hard for people to just be supportive? Why do they feel entitled – on the internet – to give their opinion of what you are doing wrong, or worse say what they would prefer to see.

People’s lack of empathy astounds me.

So, of course, I have now shut down, back into dissociation mode, because my emotions become too painful, get invalidated even more and then I can’t cope, and shut down.

I truly look forward to death, being out of here and not have to deal with any of it, anymore.


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I am so angry now. ‘Survivor Privilege’ is the latest way to shame victims of abuse.

“Survivor Privilege’. FFS!!!!!

Yes my life of severe, prolonged, multiple abuse, over decades, dealing with severe PTSD, severe anxiety, severe emotional pain, and millions who endure this like me – is a real fucking privilege.

I am so angry right now. The lack of empathy in society perpetuated by morons like this man – make me want to scream.

This is what I read..

From this link https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=728266053885625&set=a.130983213613915.12907.104181729627397&type=1&theater

Do survivor’s of child abuse and rape get granted special privileges ? Are there any advantages to being a survivor what so ever ? you know other then the severe PTSD, the crippling agoraphobia, anxiety, depression, guilt, rage, pain, issues associated with self medication … oh yes those privileges….

There has been a Washington Post article floating around online, which talks about ‘survivor privilege’.

No, that’s not a typo. The author, George Will, asserts that victims of sexual assault receive special privileges. These so-called privileges are apparently so bountiful as to encourage a proliferation of false allegations, aimed at attaining this “coveted” victim status.

Wow.
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Don’t minimize the pain of leaving abusive relationships.

Society loves to minimize the pain leaving abusive relationships can cause.

If you loved the person, it really fucking hurts.

I am still not able to deal with the pain of all I have learned about my mother, my sisters, other abusers.

It is so hard to leave even when you know they are hurting you. You are faced with the horrible options of staying in the relationship and being hurt…or facing the fear of losing people you love and the grieving and depression that causes.

I have had so many abusive relationships I have left, but are still so deeply painful, that is too much for me to bear.

I don’t think I will ever cope with the reality of all these people – who I loved – who didn’t love me at all – hurting me as much as they did. And none of them care at all. No remorse, no empathy, no conscience, nothing.

It is deeply cruel to even love one and be hurt.

But to have had so many – is beyond cruel.


So deeply blessed! A $50 donation received for my Website !!

I very recently added a donations facility to my Website, a year after setting it up.

It is free for everyone and it helps many which is wonderful, but it does cost money to run it and my annual domain renewal costs are upon me.

And now I have received this donation, from such a wonderful, kind hearted person. If you see this, please know I am deeply thankful and appreciate this so much! ❤ ❤

Made me fill up with tears – I am such a sook. But happy tears! 🙂

I feel so deeply blessed!

My Website @ http://www.healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.com/


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The new label ‘Anti-social Personality Disorder’, is such a minimization.

Society loves minimizing abuse and harm caused by abusive people. Society is truly hell-bent on this.

Sociopaths, are now re-labelled with this new disorder name.

Excuse me, but ‘anti-social behaviour’ – is graffiti on a wall, or smoking in a non smoking area.

Not being a sociopath, deliberately harming and devastating people’s lives and causing severe pain and abuse, to the level that can and does make people want to end their lives.

I see minimization and invalidation of harm and abuse caused to people, everywhere.

I see enabling, apaths, victim blaming, people confusing compassion with being an apath/enabler….everywhere.

Society is bizarre.

And most have no clue.


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Why do some child sex abuse survivors – end up “slut’s” ?

I feel this is an important message for society to be aware of.
Labelling girls sluts is all too common now.
Not everyone has been sexually abused, but with 1 in 3 girls being sexually abused before they reach 16, society needs to stop and think.
Someone may be behaving in promiscuous manner, seem to have little self worth, but we need to wonder why?
They may not have been sexually abused, but there will be reasons for this behaviour.
Compassion, is needed.

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I have been called this in the past – many times. And many other terms like this.

When you have been sexualised as a child, this changes you.

I had my innocence stolen from me – well I’m not even sure when. I grew up surrounded by people, who sexualised me, enabled me to be sexually abused as a child. I was full on sexually abused from the age of around 8, for several years. I knew the difference between hard core and soft core porn, at around 10.

My step father had a circle of child abusing friends. I grew up knowing that his behaviours were unsafe and feeling danger around me, from as far back as I ever remember.

I grew into teenage years, believing the way to get attention, was sexually. I was a teenage Lolita, I flirted in that coy teenager flirty way, that sexually abused…

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So understandable, becoming addicted to whatever takes the pain away.

I have had various ‘pain relieving’ behaviours, addictions in the past and I still have some.

In the past, alcohol, sex, partying, were some non healthy ones.

Now, I am ‘addicted’ to my laptop, writing and social media, I know this, I fully admit it. I have self compassion about this, because the emotional pain I feel about all I have processed about my past, is unbearable.

It is also part of my freeze trauma response, along with fawn – which involves helping others.

All taking my mind off my own trauma, my own pain. It is my escape from the reality of my past life and the involuntary memories and pain I have every day. And in the process it does help people.

I am fully aware of what I am doing and why. I have the IQ, EQ, insight and honesty to accept this is where I am at. I accept it is not considered healthy by some – but until anyone comes up with a magic wand that will make my deep emotional pain disappear, then I will do what works to manage the pain.

And I know that even if I weren’t in pain, I would still be wanting to help people who suffer.

What appears to be addictive behaviour, can be a pain relieving method, to cope with severe pain.

Compassion, is needed. Not judgment.