Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I relate to this song, the ‘still love you’, part.

To love people, even when they have deeply hurt you, is so hard to endure.

It’s easier to hate, I would imagine.

But, I don’t.

I have boundaries now. I know I am worth being treated with respect and love. Not to be abused, hurt and harmed.

But, I believe real love, is unconditional. I believe in the kind of love Jesus has, where He loves, even when He hates behaviours and abusive harm caused to Himself, or others.

But, I am not Jesus, so I struggle deeply with knowing I know people who have hurt me so badly.

When I love people, I love them and that doesn’t die. Because if it does, then it was never real love in the first place.

Lyrics

“Pills N Potions”

Pills and potions
We’re overdosing
I’m angry but I still love you
Pills and potions
We’re overdosing
Can’t stand it, but I still love you

I still love, I still love
I still love, I still love
I still lo-o-ove, I still love
I still love, I still love
I still love, I still love

I still love, I still love
I still love, I still love
I still lo-o-ove, I still love
I still love, I still love
I still love, I still love

Ayo they could never make me hate you
Even though what you was doing wasn’t tasteful
Even though you out here looking so ungrateful
Imma a keep it moving, be classy and graceful
I told ’em it’s no friends in the game
You ain’t learned that yet
All the bridges you came over, don’t burn that yet
Niggas want respect, but niggas ain’t earned that yet
Self-righteous, and entitled
But they swearing on the Bible that they love you
When really they’re no different from all your rivals
But I still don’t wish death on them, I just reflect on them

Pills and potions
We’re overdosing
I’m angry but I still love you
Pills and potions
We’re overdosing
Can’t stand it, but I still love you

I still love, I still love
I still love, I still love
I still lo-o-ove, I still love
I still love, I still love
I still love, I still love

I still love, I still love
I still love, I still love
I still lo-o-ove, I still love
I still love, I still love
I still love, I still love

Yo, people will love you and support you when it’s beneficial
Imma forgive, I won’t forget, but Imma dead the issue
Soon as you out the nigga’s lives is when they start to miss you
They see you doing good now it’s kinda hard to diss you
Niggas be sick when they remember all the bad they wished you
Niggas be mad when they can’t come and live lavish with you
But I sped off in a Benzy, I see the envy when I’m causing a frenzy
So I pop pills for them, cop cribs in the Hills on ’em

Pills and potions
We’re overdosing
I’m angry but I still love you
Pills and potions
We’re overdosing
Can’t stand it, but I still love you

I still love, I still love
I still love, I still love
I still lo-o-ove, I still love
I still love, I still love
I still love, I still love

I still love, I still love
I still love, I still love
I still lo-o-ove, I still love
I still love, I still love
I still love, I still love

I get high off your memory
I get high off your memory
I get high off your memory
In due time, we’ll be fine
In due time…

I still love, I still love
I still love, I still love
I still lo-o-ove, I still love
I still love, I still love
I still love, I still love

I still love, I still love
I still love, I still love
I still lo-o-ove, I still love
I still love, I still love
I still love, I still love

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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