I don’t want to feel my emotions anymore. I have endured too much abuse to deal with.
It’s too unsafe to deal with it. ‘Unsafe’ – a huge aspect of my entire life.
Either way is unsafe. Too much zoning out, and too much feeling emotions. I’m screwed either way.
I am very happy to exist within the needed amount of numbness, to function, but not feel anything.
I would no doubt be told this is not healthy, not healing…
Well, it keeps me safe.