During the time myself and my family attended this unhealthy church, many things occurred that made me feel like I was ‘in school’, dealing with teenagers.
Two things I noted, which were big childish activities, the ‘inner crowd’ were heavily into;
1) Super hero’s. Many of the men were obsessed with them and facebook messages would go around often – super hero related. Immature. Much.
2) They hold men only ‘video gaming’ nights. Not for the teenagers, for the ‘men’. Grown men, in their 30’s, 40’s. In the church. For men to get together and have fun. Immature. Much. My husband went once and was very uncomfortable, as he is actually a ‘man’, not a man-child.
This is also a church that believes women need to ‘know their place’. There are no women ‘allowed’ to be involved in church business. No women elders/deacons. The associate pastors wife, deliberately makes women feel guilty for working outside of the home. (Clearly hasn’t read Proverbs 31). Made me feel guilty for providing child care ‘in’ my home. To inflate her own ego and sense of importance. Highly judgmental. Bullying.
Guilt/shame inflicting and bullying, being a big driving force within this church.
This church also believes in harsh physical abuse to children. They claim it is ‘discipline’. An elders wife herself telling me her husband uses a belt on his teenage children. The associate pastor and his wife, displaying physical abuse in front of me and encouraging it in others, continually. Smacking babies, children, forcing little children/toddlers into daily ‘alone time’, letting babies cry and scream themselves to sleep etc – all forms of abuse, are encouraged and people are considered to be ‘bad parents’ if they do not do the same.
And the associate pastor spiritually abused me, with grooming with sexual intent. All covered up, lied about and a pathetic in-house investigation I have proof (and support about), was used to further abuse me. The senior pastor condoning and enabling all this to protect his ‘mate’.
All these behaviours and attitudes are forms of narcissism and sociopathic traits. Continue reading