I hate this kind of ongoing covert victim blaming.
Society loves it and perpetuates it continually. It is BS and further abuse.
I wrote these two posts about this on my page…
I really dislike the quote ‘you were given this life because you are strong enough to live it’.
This is a form of victim blaming. You are ‘strong enough’ therefore you got it all.
I was given my life – by abusers- and all the abuse in it, ‘regardless’ of whether I am strong enough to live it, or not.
Many people have lives that are too painful to endure. Many end their lives or feel suicidal, that does not mean they are not strong enough.
I wish all these covert forms of victim blaming, did not exist and were not encouraged by society.
Particularly abuse survivors themselves.
And then followed it up with..
Further to my last post about the ‘victim blaming quote’ – ‘You were given this life because you are strong enough to endure it’…
I will also add…..
I do believe ‘some’ can become stronger for it, but that does not in any way mean that is why we had to endure it.
For some, it destroys them completely.
We weren’t ‘given’ it because we are strong enough, at all.
Our abusers didn’t think to themselves ‘I’m only going to hurt her/him, because she/he is strong enough to endure it’. They didn’t care at all, if we were strong enough to endure it. In fact, some abusers wanted the abuse to destroy us.
I don’t like any forms of victim blaming and I won’t tolerate them.
Society is very unhealthy in many of it’s views about abuse and I stand up against them all.
I also dislike and will not tolerate other victim blaming such as;
– Suggesting God ‘gives’ you abuse to in some way teach you something – BS. God is pure perfect love and wants no-one to suffer. But, due to free will, people make choices for others to suffer, and God will use those situations, for His needs, with our best interests always at heart.
– Karma, Laws of Attraction, Buddhism – all forms of victim blaming to suggest you deserve it, need it, encouraged it. BS, all of it.
The blame for abuse is always and only the abusers – they made the choices to abuse. End of.
They also could have chosen, not to abuse. But they didn’t.
There needs to be people willing to speak the truth.
July 11, 2014 at 5:09 am
Powerful post, although my understanding of karma is simply the result of your choices not a judgement or blame. But I absolutely agree that there is an overwhelming pressure in society to blame the victim. I absolutely agree that horrible things like rape, abuse, genocide do not happen for a reason or to teach lessons.
July 11, 2014 at 5:14 am
Karma is ‘what you give, is what you get back’. Therefore, if you do good, you get good back, if you do bad, you get bad back. So any bad you endure, is a result of your bad you gave out. Its part of Buddhism, which I studied and know is absolute rubbish. It is victim blaming.
Abuse is never about the choices the victim made. It is always the choices the abuser made.
So, I don’t condone of them. I stand up against all forms of victims blaming.
July 11, 2014 at 5:16 am
And you do an excellent job at standing up against all forms of victim blaming. Your blog is helpful to so many and a powerful voice.
July 12, 2014 at 1:02 am
“Our abusers didn’t think to themselves ‘I’m only going to hurt her/him, because she/he is strong enough to endure it’. They didn’t care at all, if we were strong enough to endure it. In fact, some abusers wanted the abuse to destroy us.”
Yes! Well said! I completely agree.
July 12, 2014 at 7:02 am
I am thankful to be able to express this for others to see the picture clearly.