Watching a TV program tonight and this song came on.
Immediately my mind jumped straight into truly horrific memories.
Some people give in to such evil that makes them want to harm others in truly evil, torturous ways.
I used to listen to the radio constantly whilst in captivity and I used to record all the songs on tape, that I liked and listened to them over and over and over. They were my only company. My only friends. Music helped me survive.
This song was a reflection of the perverse, darkness I was trapped within.
The Cure made very dark music.
And I know this was at the height of my suicide ideation coping. Death was my ‘get out’ way of ending the pain, that he didn’t have control over. I had control and I could end it if I needed to and he couldn’t make me suffer anymore.
I researched this song and found out it is about a child being sexually abused. I instinctively knew it was about abuse and that is why I related to it as teenager and the current situation I was in. Well in fact related to my childhood, as I was always surrounded by darkness, I just didn’t understand why, then. Now I do.