Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Daily Archives: July 13, 2014

The truth, is a pill many claim to want….

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Rarely, do people actually want the truth. They want what makes them feel good. What is comfortable. What makes life easy. And often what gives them the least amount of responsibility.

Apathy and narcissism, are increasing rapidly in society. Two huge worldwide issues, most denied, excused, enabled and justified.

Rarely do people have emotional courage, discipline for honesty, or social/spiritual integrity. 

And even more rare, are the people, with enough courage, discipline for honesty and self insight…able to be honest about themselves.

Truth, is something many claim to want, but few rarely can ever digest.

 

 


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I have loved so many abusive, unhealthy people. Who didn’t love me at all.

It only takes something someone says, something on the TV etc, and the realisation of this, comes flooding into my mind and my heart.

Is really hard to deal with. I have loved many abusive people. Really loved them. Would have done anything for them. Did do anything for some of them.

I’ve been badly hurt by them. Abused by them. Betrayed by them. Lied to and about, by them.

None of them ever loved me. At all. It’s always so hard to type that. It’s like if I type it, it truly is a reality. And I know it is. Truth, reality, honesty, I can’t deny, or avoid, or suppress, or view in any more palatable way.

I can’t fool myself with ‘oh they did love me in their own way, however they were capable’.

Because love never hurts people the way they have.

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My own personal facebook, is now just an extension of my work.

I don’t treat my own personal Facebook account, as anything more than an extension of my work now. My real friends, are not on my personal Facebook.

They are just people I know/knew, some of whom I keep in contact with, because I do like them, a few I care about.

But, in no way are any of them, people I consider to be real friends, or people I can have real conversations with, about worthy issues, about things of value.

I have never surrounded myself with people, who are like I am. I’ve always had people in my life who are just your average, non insightful, fairly shallow, egocentric people, self serving, society following poeple. Who care only about themselves.

That is changing.

But, I won’t be adding any of my new friends I have things in common with, to my ‘old’ personal Facebook.

My personal Facebook, represents my old life.

The life I had, prior to ‘waking up’.

And I see so clearly how they are all still ‘asleep’.

Doesn’t mean I dislike them, or think they are bad people, but I have absolutely nothing in common with them.

And that’s okay, because it is their issues, to remain asleep, and it was my choice and my courage, to wake up, so I don’t feel remotely guilty, in stating any of this.

And I do deserve people in my life, who I can relate to and have virtues, in common with.