Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Scapegoat abuse, is deeply damaging psychological abuse. My sisters continued it.

My sisters were trained by their abuser father and our abuser mother, to treat me as the scapegoat.

I was blamed for everything.

I was blamed at 12, for the sexual abuse by a paedophile friend of my step father, blamed for this paedophile abusing my sister. Told it was my fault, because I didn’t tell earlier. I was shown no care or love. I had been abused for around 3-4 years, forced to watch hard core porn, molested, forced to perform sexual acts on the paedophile.

I now fully believe my mother and step father knew the abuse was occurring. My step father had a circle of abuser friends, and he continued speaking to this paedophile, after the sexual abuse had been disclosed.

I was blamed for many other things too. Continue reading


Adults are also ‘groomed’ for sexual abuse. I was. By a church pastor.


I have been asked several times, how to identify if an adult is/has been groomed for sexual abuse, by an abuser.

I was ‘groomed’, by a narcissistic pastor. I was very vulnerable, and he used that for to his advantage. Seeking to get me alone, talking about highly inappropriate things – like telling me how many pastors have affairs, discussing sexual intimacy with me in detail, inappropriate touching and hugging, all whilst alone with him, in my home. He told me he had feelings for me, he should only have for his wife. So, clearly did not see me as a sister, which was how he termed his ‘feelings’, earlier on in the grooming process.

He broke every rule of pastoral counselling, didn’t keep any records, hadn’t told his senior pastor where he was, and then lied about it all.

This below is great info about adult grooming.




Grooming – Grooming is the predatory act of maneuvering another individual into a position that makes them more isolated, dependent, likely to trust, and more vulnerable to abusive behavior.


Grooming is a insidious predatory tactic, utilized by abusers. Grooming is practiced by Narcissists, Antisocial predators, con-artists and sexual aggressors, who target and manipulate vulnerable people for exploitation.

Child grooming is the deliberate act of establishing an emotional bond with a child, to lower the child’s resistance. Child grooming can result in the minor falling victim to physical, sexual and emotional abuse, or specifically, to manipulate children into participating in slave labor, prostitution, and/or the production of child pornography.

Adult grooming is correspondent to child grooming and applies to any situation where an adult is primed to allow him or herself to be exploited or abused. While it is a common assumption that grooming is only practiced on the very young, identical emotional and psychological processes are commonly used to abuse or exploit adults the elderly, and those with compromised mental facilities. Continue reading