Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I will rarely, if ever, meet ‘my people’. Realisations that hit hard.

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“Every night I used to pray that I’d find my people” ~ Lana Del Rey – Ride (Extended version).

All this processing about myself, understanding who I am, realising I am what some describe as an ‘old soul’, knowing I am indeed very different to most people, and beyond my years in wisdom, is necessary and I need to do this, to understand myself fully..

But also highlights, that I will rarely find anyone who is like me.

I’ve wanted my ‘family’, or at least people who ‘get me’ all my life. People who are there for me, in the capacity I need.

And I won’t have this.

I’m getting better at realising I am an introvert and now I do cherish and enjoy my own company. But, I am honest to know I still have that need within me to find ‘my people’.

I face continuing a life of loneliness, from lacking connections I need – emotionally for my inner child, or on a level of maturity and wisdom for my old soul, or on a level of spiritual progression, as I have been told I have bypassed where most church people will remain.

So whilst all this maturity and wisdom understanding is good, the thought of that ongoing loneliness for the rest of my life, is hard to accept. There are parts of me that don’t want to be lonely.

But, I always have been lonely. And it would seem, I always will be.

And right now, that is really depressing, and painful.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

3 thoughts on “I will rarely, if ever, meet ‘my people’. Realisations that hit hard.

  1. I have felt the same way for most of my life. Someone once called me an old soul too. You are not alone 🙂

  2. **hugs** I may not 100% experience your pain, but only emphasise with you. You are one of my pillar of strength ❤