Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Feeling increasingly depressed over the last few days & PTSD increasing.


A lot of the processing I do, isn’t bringing happiness. It’s the reality of the world I live in, what it is driven by, who it is driven by, and how much abuse, harm, terror, pain and suffering there is the world.

The processing I do about myself, just makes me more and more aware, of how ‘alien’ I am and that is indeed how I feel.

I feel very detached from this world. I feel very alone, in human terms. I’m trying really hard to be okay with that.

But, failing.

As my depression increases, as always, my PTSD symptoms increase. My anxiety, irritation etc, has all increased. We have some issues going on as well that are causing me stress. My car has broken down and it will cost a lot to fix it. I can’t get my children to school, so they are home. It’s all adding to my stress and it’s overwhelming me.

Every noise is irritating me beyond my capacity to control or reason about right now, and that is always an indicator to me that my PTSD is increasing too much. My children have already been to their rooms to separate them, due to fighting and screeching.

Being a mother and having PTSD, is not fun. Being a mother is a tough gig for anyone, having PTSD and depression, makes it harder. And then of course, there is the guilt that goes with that.

I just want to lie down and cry and go to sleep.

I’ve not been sleeping well either over the last week, so that’s adding to it.

I know exactly what is happening, I know why, I know what’s causing it, and I know it’s okay I feel this way, and to have self compassion.

I have insight and know how to work out what is occurring.

And yet, I still want to go and lie down, cry and go to sleep.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

6 thoughts on “Feeling increasingly depressed over the last few days & PTSD increasing.

  1. ((HUGS)) I feel the same way!

    • My therapist had me take two weeks of cognitive therapy. While replacing a bad thought with a reasonable one is a nice idea, and helps for a few minutes, it has not taken away my terror and pain. I am so very grateful for what you write. Wish we all could have coffee or tea together. No one understands, they try, but they cannot relate.

  2. Thank you for sharing this. My heart is with you.

  3. Hi, I love your honest writing. I always feel a little bit of healing when I read something that so clearly describes how I’ve also felt, so thank you. I hated the times I felt alone like that, and no one was ever able to convince me I wasn’t. It’s taken me 14 years of ongoing healing to get to a place of feeling some hopefulness. I think there’s lots of us all feeling alone, I hope you keep finding your way.

  4. Can really relate to this x

  5. I keep repeating to myself….it’s not how far down you fall, it’s how quick you get back up that makes a difference…..over and over again. I keep hoping this will help me feel better. Keep on going. Big hugs as mentioned above.