I asked my doctor, who is a Christian if she knew of Alice Miller’s work and she said not. Considering Alice Miller is well known in the psychology world, that interested me.
Alice Miller believes in the seriousness of abuse by parents, and strongly believes hitting children and various other forms of abuse that many church people encourage, is abuse and I absolutely agree. She also believes the ‘honour thy father and mother’ – ‘even if they are abusive’ aspects of church/child abuse perpetrated, to condone abuse that I clearly see occurring, to be abuse.
My view is that ‘honour thy father and mother’ in terms of what God requires of us, is ‘if’ the father and mother act the way parents should – by not ‘abusing’ their children.
Much shame is forced upon Christians by enforcing ignoring and accepting abuse of all kinds and much is condoned within churches and I do NOT in any way condone this. It is disgusting and nothing to do with God, at all.
In her writings, Miller is careful to clarify that by “abuse” she does not only mean physical violence or sexual abuse, she is also concerned with a much more insidious form of abuse: psychological abuse perpetrated by one or both parents on their child; this is insidious because the difficulty of identifying and dealing with it lies in the fact that the abused person is likely to conceal it from themselves and may never be aware of it until some dramatic event, or the onset of depression, requires it to be treated. Miller blamed psychologically abusive parents for the majority of neuroses and psychoses.
She maintained that all instances of mental illness, addiction, crime and cultism were ultimately caused by suppressed rage and pain as a result of subconscious childhood trauma that was not resolved emotionally, assisted by a helper, which she came to term an “enlightened witness.”
In all cultures, “sparing the parents is our supreme law,” wrote Miller. Even psychiatrists, psychoanalysts and clinical psychologists were unconsciously afraid to blame parents for the mental disorders of their clients, she contended. According to Miller, mental health professionals were also creatures of the poisonous pedagogy internalized in their own childhood.
This explained why the command “Honor thy parents” was one of the main targets in Miller’s school of psychology. – Wikipedia.
I am currently reading Alice Miller’s ‘From Rage to Courage’ and it is fascinating.
The more I learn about psychology and church people – the more I see how much abuse is perpetrated within churches and this bothers me greatly.
It’s why there is so much poor mental health running rife throughout churches – they are mind controlled into believing abuse is needed and okay, to be condoned and accepted and NEVER raised as an issue.
It’s clearly why abuse survivors are treated so badly by church people.
So wrong and so clearly not what God wants at all and is nothing like the life Jesus modelled for us.
And this truly bothers me. Deeply.