Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I’m deeply homesick for, and ready to be where I belong.


I know in my heart, I am truly done with this life.

I’ve already been through so much, so many different types of abuse and abusers and I know I want out. I feel like an old woman who has lived her entire life, and is just ready to die and be with Jesus. And really after my life, I don’t feel it is unreasonable to feel this way.

So many ‘people’ have done a really amazing job of destroying my life. I am defeated and I’m sure that will make some very happy to know.

I have a purpose in raising my children. And I don’t want any other purpose anymore. A year ago, I had all these ideas and plans, but they become less and less of a need or desire.

I just want to be alone, in my thoughts, play my music, write, help some people where I can and keep away from anything which can cause me any more grief – which means people.

I’ve seen enough. I’ve felt enough. I’m tired. I’m old. I’m fading. I’m down and out.

And I have no desire to fight it anymore.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

2 thoughts on “I’m deeply homesick for, and ready to be where I belong.

  1. 😦 I’m so sorry for your pain and agony. I am only a stranger, who knows nothing of your life, but I want you to know from one human being to an other…you have strength beyond comprehension and heart greater and deeper than any ocean. Sorry so sorry 😦

  2. This is sounding really scary. Please know that people care. Give yourself whatever space you need, and give yourself an extra couple doses of self-care.