I know in my heart, I am truly done with this life.
I’ve already been through so much, so many different types of abuse and abusers and I know I want out. I feel like an old woman who has lived her entire life, and is just ready to die and be with Jesus. And really after my life, I don’t feel it is unreasonable to feel this way.
So many ‘people’ have done a really amazing job of destroying my life. I am defeated and I’m sure that will make some very happy to know.
I have a purpose in raising my children. And I don’t want any other purpose anymore. A year ago, I had all these ideas and plans, but they become less and less of a need or desire.
I just want to be alone, in my thoughts, play my music, write, help some people where I can and keep away from anything which can cause me any more grief – which means people.
I’ve seen enough. I’ve felt enough. I’m tired. I’m old. I’m fading. I’m down and out.
And I have no desire to fight it anymore.