Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Always nice to see people validate my ‘Profound Insight’.

I do get comments about my insight and it is validating.

I actually know I have lots more to learn and I credit some of this being all my life wisdom and some learned through reading, researching and putting it all together. And I love to share that, to help others.

It’s weird, some things I process, I need no validation about at all – I guess that’s my wise, old soul part of me.

And other things I do need it – I guess that’s my inner child needs.

My blog posts here, are proof of that.

Validation is nice, makes me feel good, lifts my self esteem (usually not for long though). And as I’ve lived a life of not having that, or believing I deserve this, I am okay with it today 🙂

So, for today, all of me, but especially my inner child part of me, is very thankful and has a smile.


Why I’ve always wanted older people to ‘look after’ the inner child me.

“Inverted parenting is a hallmark of an alcoholic family, as well as in a family with a narcissistic personality disordered mother.

This situation causes post traumatic stress disorder.

None of the children are getting their emotional needs met in a healthy way. Each position that the children fill serves a purpose for the family.

The children often act very mature, such as acting 40 when they are 10. However, when they are older all of their infantile needs rise to the surface and they want to be taken care of by their partner.

This often dooms the relationship because the partner can not be the parent and save the relationship.”

This ^ From Blog http://echorecovery.blogspot.com.au/search/label/Scapegoating

I was treated differently to my sisters, so this applies to me, but they ended up being like their parents, rather than like this. But, we were all abused. I was the mother to my sisters, and also looked after my mother’s needs.

I don’t actually want my husband to take care of my ‘inner child’ – which is probably one reason our relationship has lasted, but I have sought it from others, men and women.

Those unmet childhood needs, continue on, right through adulthood. I don’t know how to stop this.

Needs are needs.

It’s not like I can take medication to stop that, or go to AA etc. Continue reading

When corruption is occurring at the top, it filters down, infecting all.

Churches are supposed to be a ‘safe place’, for people to heal.

Where people can have an expectation of no corruption, and for sins of ministers, those in power, to be dealt with appropriately.

Not where abusive corrupt people, are enabled to abuse, and be corrupt.

And where people already hurting, needing healing, get abused further.

I still under-estimate myself and my courage.

Having a particularly bad week, so doctor who is away, advised I see another doctor. I stated I was feeling numb and doubted I would be able to talk.

He is a nice man and happens to be the person who mediated at the mediation where I was further abused by the narc pastor. So at least I have met him, this doctor has seen them in action and knew a little about what had gone on.

I ended up being able to tell a fair bit about how I feel, and the two separate situations occurring;

(1) The current abuse situation, of spiritual/grooming about by a pastor and the subsequent lies, cover up, whitewashing, corruption by the in-house investigators and the Baptist Church, all of which had been confirmed to me, is correct, is abuse, is very wrong, not remotely Godly and I have grounds to take legal action about. And I know – they would not have lied and stated crap in that report – unless they needed to for dodgy reasons.

And then, the abuser getting promoted – which is clearly a very suspicious and dodgy move by the Baptist Church and more evidence of their abusive and non Godly actions. And my shock about this and my reasons why.

This alone being bad enough to endure, and causing huge layers of distress I feel for others who will be infected by this and sheer disgust at how so called ‘Christians’ act – which goes on far too much in Christianity. How there is no-where near enough emotional courage and spiritual integrity within churches, and within denominational hierarchy’s, to deal with these abusive people appropriately. And how I know everyone involved in this, has failed. Regardless of their reasons for justifying it.

And people abused within churches – are often treated very badly. That is common too. Continue reading