“Inverted parenting is a hallmark of an alcoholic family, as well as in a family with a narcissistic personality disordered mother.
This situation causes post traumatic stress disorder.
None of the children are getting their emotional needs met in a healthy way. Each position that the children fill serves a purpose for the family.
The children often act very mature, such as acting 40 when they are 10. However, when they are older all of their infantile needs rise to the surface and they want to be taken care of by their partner.
This often dooms the relationship because the partner can not be the parent and save the relationship.”
This ^ From Blog http://echorecovery.blogspot.com.au/search/label/Scapegoating
I was treated differently to my sisters, so this applies to me, but they ended up being like their parents, rather than like this. But, we were all abused. I was the mother to my sisters, and also looked after my mother’s needs.
I don’t actually want my husband to take care of my ‘inner child’ – which is probably one reason our relationship has lasted, but I have sought it from others, men and women.
Those unmet childhood needs, continue on, right through adulthood. I don’t know how to stop this.
Needs are needs.
It’s not like I can take medication to stop that, or go to AA etc.
I know it’s why I (much to my deep embarrassment) have transference stuff with my doctor, even though she is not old enough to be my mother. But to my inner child, she is.
My inner child hurts, still feels small, lost, lonely, abandoned, unloved, vulnerable, scared. Alone.
Anyone want to be my mother??? You just need to be nice, caring, gentle, honest, loving, let me call you Mum and give me lots of hugs….that’s all…