Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Forgiveness for abusers is one thing, empathy for future victims, is about action.


We live in a society that believes many things that are often all for self. Egocentric.

Many people believe the end of the line in dealing with abuse, is about personal healing and for some, forgiveness.

This is all about self needs.

But, what about future victims? Many don’t often care about that. I do. I care a lot.

Even my faith, the religious side of Christianity, many church people believe forgiveness, is the ‘be all and end all’. It’s not for me. I care about what will happen to others, because I have empathy and I am not ‘all about me’.

I don’t believe for one second that God requires His people to just forgive and move on. Did Jesus model that? Did he just stand there, watch abuse occur, do nothing and just forgive them and move on?

Of course he didn’t. He acted. Not in a way to repay evil with evil, but to stand up to evil and expose the abuse, lies and those being deceived.

Jesus wasn’t some drippy, namby pamby, whimpy, always gentle, always soft, lets just leave it with God, look the other way, lets ignore the bad in people and focus only of the good, rose coloured glasses wearing, minimizing sins thinking, ‘not my problem’……kind of man. And if you think He was, you are reading a very different Bible to me.

Jesus, was not about cheap grace, apathy, lack of action. At all.

As a Christian, I know my role is to stand up for the oppressed, deceived, the abused, current and future. I have courage, integrity, wisdom and strength to not take the easy road.

The narrow path, is never the easy road. And I know that.

Forgiveness, is one part of dealing with abusers.

A real Christian does not stand by and allow evil to occur, and do nothing and hope for the best. Abusers rarely change often due to personality disorder issues and whilst this is very sad, they hurt people, often in a highly manipulative way. I do believe in Christ’s healing – but you have to acknowledge your issues and ‘want’ to change, admit all you are, all your failures, any darkness inside and most abusers can’t do this.

I’m thankful I wasn’t brought up in a Church, as I see clearly many church people are so deceived. Which makes me very sad for them, but does not condone abuse, lies, and harming others.

I will challenge anyone who believes just forgiving and moving on, is all that is required. It’s very selfish. Very ‘all about me’.

I am an empath, that doesn’t make me wrong. It is a virtue. A spiritual virtue.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

4 thoughts on “Forgiveness for abusers is one thing, empathy for future victims, is about action.

  1. You’re so right. It’s why I’m so passionate about protecting potential future victims by creating a law that would protect them. By keeping my actor in jail longer, I’m protecting any potential victims currently and in the next 4 years. By plastering his face coast to coast, I can educate people about people like him. Heal myself but pay it forward.

  2. I couldn’t have said this better myself. As “Christians,” it’s not about “us,” as so many believe. Forgiveness definitely has its place, but as you point out, it only speaks to us. Once we’ve been freed, we should want to free others too. In this case, it’s to free others who have been trapped in the aftermath of abuse.