Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

It wasn’t worth doing the right thing. Evil prevailed and won.


There’s no getting away from the harsh reality, that doing the right thing, over the last few years, having courage, was a complete waste of time.

All it did was lead to me enduring more trauma and abuse, having to deal with so many lies, corruption, evil. No-one dealt with it any of it appropriately, no-one else stepped up, so evil prevailed.

It wasn’t worth it, all the harm it caused me. That is the harsh reality. Humans cause harm to others, in many ways.

And I have that nagging knowledge that I was so stupid to think anything different would occur.

Why would I ever put my trust in people. Why? It’s like I have the masochistic need to keep proving to myself, again and again, that people can never be trusted.

All the harm, to me, to my healing, was not worth doing the right thing.

Maybe this was the lesson, all along. Don’t bother.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

5 thoughts on “It wasn’t worth doing the right thing. Evil prevailed and won.

  1. Oh my… I really felt your words. I understand why you feel like this as I have felt like this also. But keep going. I’m there with you in spirit.
    Much love. x

  2. evil never prevails.Love will always win in the end.

  3. You are increasing awareness, and you are making a difference in the lives of people who need to hear your story – survivors searching for courage find strength in your voice. The right thing is always worth doing, always … someone, somewhere, needed to read every word you’ve written. Evil and corruption will always be, and sometimes it feels like they will always win, but they can only win [ultimately] if people like you give up. If you’re tired rest, but then get up to fight another day.

  4. I feel like the answer is not to fight for anything, but your own soul, once you know how to do that, the rest is just what the rest is. Life, the universe, will be how it is. But you can preserve your soul. It is the only thing designed to have true choice. The rest of the chips of life will always fall as they were always meant.

  5. I realise, when I am overwhelmed, with fear, betrayal, feeling abandoned, alone….I will automatically jump to my safe place, of putting my walls up all around me, knowing no-one can be trusted, and hating myself for even trying.

    Feeling unsafe, is a very dominant emotion and state I am in these days.