Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Posts to my page, I want to keep. 10th August 2014

“I’m thankful my brain has the capacity for mild dissociation. The ability to feel ‘numb’ at times – helps me deal with the pain. I couldn’t bear constant pain – to the level I experience.

But, I do need to manage the numbness. It is far too tempting to remain there permanently, lost in a zone of nothingness.”

~ Lilly Hope Lucario


“I don’t believe being highly suspicious about everyone’s motives, is a particularly good trait.

But, I have self compassion for why I am. When you have endured abuse and betrayal, it forces you to have to be so suspicious, to keep yourself safe from any further harm.

Because the harm already endured, hurt so deeply and the mind, heart, body and soul remembers this.”

~ Lilly Hope Lucario


~~~The issue of forgiveness~~~

I do not preach forgiveness, even though I am a Christian. And here’s why…

Whether someone needs to consider forgiveness for abusers, is a very personal issue and one I do not believe anyone has a right to demand or shame people into.

I believe that to heal, we need to concentrate on ‘ourselves’ – nothing to do with the abusers.

I believe that adding ‘forgiveness’ into the healing process too soon, is very damaging. And who is to know when that time is right for others, if ever?

I won’t tell you – you ‘have’ to forgive. I have no right to say that to you. No-one does.

I am not you, I don’t know where you are at in your healing, I don’t want to damage your healing, or shame you. That would be wrong of me and it is wrong of anyone else.

I do not believe that anyone needs to think about forgiveness for abusers who have harmed us greatly, unless they believe they want to and when they are ready.

To be quite honest, I am so sick of thinking about my abusers. I need to concentrate on me and what ‘I’ need. Not them.

I believe this is needed.

So, please do not preach forgiveness to severe abuse survivors – you are not ‘entitled’ to do so. If you have dealt with forgiveness – keep it to yourself.

Don’t think you know where everyone else’s healing is at, or what they need.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario


“Complex trauma survivors often learn to cope with behaviours and strategies that may seem unhealthy to others.

It is what that survivor knows and is familiar with, which can feel safer than anything else – even if unhealthy.

There is safety in the familiar. The unfamiliar, can seem infinitely more scary”

~ Lilly Hope Lucario


“Sometimes I have to give myself permission to not have to be strong.

It is too big a burden to be so strong every single day. Some days I just need to lie down, pull the covers up over my head, and hide away.

It is needed for my sanity to allow myself this.”

~ Lilly Hope Lucario


“I can always spot narcissistic people, by the way they assume that every post on a community page – should be what ‘they’ need and complain when it isn’t.

No insight into how selfish this is. No awareness of how that post they don’t like, may be benefitting someone else.

Just total selfishness and an entitlement to complain that they are not having their personal needs met, at all times.

Get over yourself – it’s not ‘all about you’ ”

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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