Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Done with Christianity as an organised religion & done with Christian counselling.


So much has happened over the last 2 years related to so called ‘Christians’ that I know has profoundly affected my healing, caused me more abuse and trauma, and I know I need to just separate myself, from it all.

I have seen so many people who claim to be mature Christians, fail so badly and I find it quite bizarre that they all can’t see it.

I’ve seen lies, excuses, corruption, justifications, minimizing, spiritual abuse in the masses, child abuse and well so much more, but I’ve already blogged enough.

I think so many really are mind controlled, into this concept that it is needed to minimize abuse and protect abuse perpetrators. All with their wrong interpretations of grace, compassion etc.

All this has shown me, is how much these people hurt abuse survivors, abuse them further, spiritually abuse them and re-traumatise them and re-victimise them.

And worse, they truly don’t care. They all stick together.

They truly are the perfect examples of narcissist/sociopaths or their apaths.

No wonder my doctor doesn’t like me using these terms, because none of them want to consider this is what they are. People always reject what is too close to home.

All of these people who see evil occurring and do nothing – are Satan’s apaths.

And they have every excuse, justification, and Bible verse twisted for their needs, ready at the need to defend themselves. And they love to flaunt that in your face – to try to make you feel bad, feel shame, feel like you’re are the problem.

So many cognitive distortions it is beyond my comprehension how they can be so fucked up and not realise it.

What they are, is weak, apathetic, sin encouraging, victim blaming, perpetrator protecting, lack of courage, lack of integrity, lac of faith, mindless sheep, who daren’t rock the boat.

And I want no part of that.

I’m done with it all.

It will be so hard for me to stop counselling, because I am attached to my doctor, but I have to let it go, for my sanity. And I will have to grieve this too.

My previous counsellor told me I had outgrown your average church and that my spiritual progression is further than many, and I do see how those at stage 3, feel they need church – like teenagers need to belong in groups too. But, I don’t need that.

And I know people who are further progressed and see into all the bullshit and immaturity of church people, often fall away from organised religion. Which is where I am at.

Organised Christianity has shown me nothing but abuse, lies, immature behaviours, lack of courage/integrity, weakness, sheep like mind control, abuse enabling, perpetrator protecting and very little of Jesus.

Of course, they will all deny this, cognitive distortions rife.

Of course they will say this is about ‘my’ issues.

Well, they can keep deluding themselves if they like, I know they will and that is not my issue, or sin. It’s theirs.

Enough is enough.

When I’m done, I’m done.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

5 thoughts on “Done with Christianity as an organised religion & done with Christian counselling.

  1. My Bubby and I consider ourselves irreligious non-denominational Christians. I know it’s a mouth full but it’s a peaceful form of our faith. It’s best explained in Bruxy Caveys book ‘end of religion’. It’s an amazing book!

  2. I agree with you.I too have experienced similar when going for help via ‘Organised Christianity’ So much narcissism and unmet needs there. I’m done with them and also for me the many counsellors who have damaged me further, who just didn’t get it, who felt threatened, who got defensive, attacking,abusive,who broke boundaries.
    My relationship with Jesus, wonderful nurturing pages like this and other ‘safe’ resources I have found are my healing lights now oh and my partner, kitties and nature.Thanks for your wonderful blog.

    I wish you healing and peace.