Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Thinking I need to re-organise my whole life.



I have been through hell this last few years. I have nearly lost my life, been abused, been let down by people I needed to help me, when I could least afford it.

I have processed a huge amount about my past and it has nearly killed me too.

My life has far too much darkness in it, far too much of the darker sides of humanity, I have endured over decades, by way too many people.

I have endured religious abuse repeatedly – still am as people continue lying, denying, minimizing and making me feel more shame.

I know I am absolutely over organised Christianity and all those in it. I am progressed past all that.

I know I am absolutely over abusive religious attitudes about abuse, about abusers, their perpetrator protecting, their spiritual abuse and all their massive issues I see clearly.

I am done being around people who seek to bring me down and don’t want to help/support me.

I am done being around people who put pressure on me to be like them – when I know what they are – is wrong and unhealthy and further abuses, survivors of abuse.

I want to around people who wish to be kind, caring.

I want friends who don’t know about my past, my PTSD, so I don’t get wrongly judged and treated like I am a freak who has no opinion and as soon as I disagree with them, they blame my past/PTSD – which is abusive.

I want to focus on being where I am not hurt.

I want to re-consider my current social media I share at, and think about where my time is better spent.

I want to get on with writing and finding contacts about writing my book and getting that out there.

I want to seek counselling that is not religiously led and avoid all those unhealthy issues I know are wrong.

I want a life.

I want to stop feeling shamed and hurt and let down, as I have done over the last 2 years, as well as so much of my life prior to that.

And I know, it’s up to me to sort this out and find all this.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

4 thoughts on “Thinking I need to re-organise my whole life.

  1. To be honest, you’re off to a damn good start. Now keep going … take it all the way. Can’t wait to see your book on the shelf next to mine.