I am in my healing journey, trying to process, grieve and heal severe complex trauma.
I am also an empath, meaning I absorb people’s emotions, good and bad. I’ve always been this way, because I learned to very skilfully read people, young. I was an adult in my childhood, due to parentification abuse, having to be my mothers caretaker and the mother to my sisters. I also learned deep emotions very young, due to so much abuse and needing to worry and parent my sisters.
The biggest downside of being an empath, is I pick up and absorb other people’s negative moods and I also sense what is causing them.
Like just now with my husband. He’s in one of his moody, feels ‘hard done’ by, grumpy, projecting – by complaining about issues in others – that he himself is more guilty of. He’s sullen, snappy and I know he’s winding me up, only because he is in a bad mood. When I respond, I receive back the highly immature ‘whatever’ complete with teenager attitude, which annoys me all the more. FFS grow up. Then, as per usual – once he’s wound me up, oh he then doesn’t ‘want’ to speak anymore and I get the silent treatment. My ‘narc radar’ now on full alert, red flags had been popping up in every word he utters, all his body language, his facial reactions, the tone in his voice and now the sullen silence – all so evident of the regression into that of a teenager. Typical narcissism because he’s tired and he becomes ‘all about me’. ‘Entitled’ to annoy and wind everyone else up. Which many people act like when tired, especially men, who are more prone to narcissism, as per psychology. Continue reading