This has definitely been a part of my journey.
I absolutely know narcissists will never admit or face up to the harm they have caused. They can pretend, if they have to and can fool many in doing this, and it would only be for their own reasons/needs. Not for the victim. It is never genuine remorse.
I know and have seen this in play, all too often. Manipulation – and other people falling for it.
A classic non genuine narc apology “I’m sorry you got hurt”. Not….”I’m sorry I hurt you.” And during the 20 minutes prior to this apology, the issue to these narcs, was ‘only’ about their image and their distress at how ‘other people would know’, I was called ‘demonic’, and everything denied, minimized, excused, and narc rage shown. No concern for me, at all. All of which has been witnessed by others, who agreed, this is narcissistic behaviour.
I didn’t need to be told what this was, I already knew myself, as the words spewed from the wolf’s mouth, it was a fake, non genuine apology, from a weak narcissist, who projects all his own issues as a man, onto others. And my previous counsellor agreed. She knew my capacity, to pick up on lies, narcissism, non genuine hearts and the words that come out of their mouths, and the reasons why.
This is just one example of many I have seen in my life, where apologies are not real, not genuine and are self serving, with no remorse, no conscience, no empathy for those harmed.
And I see so clearly all those around who fall for it. Or rather – want to accept the narc is genuinely apologising – to make life easier. Again, no empathy for the victim. They are apaths, colluding and going along with the narc, for their own reasons too.
NEVER trust an unrepentant narcissist,
or sociopath, psychopath,
You are a FOOL, if you do,
an APATH if you don’t care,
or apply cheap grace.
And you are ABUSING the victim further,
even if unintentionally.