Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Slow and steady…….you are not weaker, if your journey is slower…


Society likes to define people by ‘success’…..often judged by ‘speed’ of success. Very immature ego rubbish, that I see clearly and always have.

Society (and religion) demands those healing from abuse – heal quickly, and the way to heal, is to focus on the positives. And you are weak, by immature society standards, if you don’t. *sigh.

In this healing journey, you need to deal with the pain and grieving of severe trauma, of vile disgusting abuse, of betrayal and abandonment, of deep core wounds. You *cannot’ do all this processing, ‘fast’, or whilst only ‘focussing on the positives.

All that is, is suppression and avoidance. And I know this, because I did exactly that, for 20 years. And I know how damaging that actually was, in the long term. True, full processing and grieving, takes time, and is painful.

I know, part of my role in the work I do, is to point out and explain wrong society/religious expectations, unhealthy views and how that damages healing survivors more. And I will keep doing it. Because I care about the harm, society/religion causes.

Me, I don’t care what the ‘hares’ are up to anymore….except for when they start ‘preaching’, at others to do the same.

I am a turtle, plodding along, withdrawing and hiding in my shell at times, then tentatively poking my head out and taking a few more steps, slowly, but surely.

And I really don’t care if I ‘win’. Unlike the hare, who needed to be the quickest, the best, the success.

My journey is mine, unique, different and not to be compared, or judged and this applies to everyone.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

4 thoughts on “Slow and steady…….you are not weaker, if your journey is slower…

  1. I needed this today. I think that we all fall into that kind of talk in our own minds and tend to put on ourselves the things that those around us think. It’s not fair for anyone else to comment or push us on our own journey. No one knows or understands it completely because they didn’t go through it. I think it’s very strong of you to be able to say this, I need to understand this myself.

  2. Oh my goodness. I needed to see this today. I have been working on healing from multiple traumas with multiple perpetrators for the last 26 years. 13 years ago, I thought I had finished my healing journey. Three years ago, I got triggered in a huge way and plunged back into the world of ptsd and flashbacks and nightmares and panic attacks and hypervigilance. I became unable to work. Some people in my life have told me, you just need to find a way to let go of it all now. If I could do that , I would. It turns out that there were many things never addressed the first time around. And I know that I cannot make it go any faster than I am going.

  3. Thank you Lilly reading this just makes me want to cry with relief. I think the thing with religion is, how it makes u feel to do it the ‘worlds way’ is to choose a almost backsliden selfish route. I can’t tell how many times those that even hear a little of my story have told me “I know it was hard but God can use u in a special way to reach other, u can be an inspiration to them”. Well I’ve left all that now and I sit “in the world” being helped and reached “by the world” and I find it such a relief. No pressure to perform, and feel guilty.

  4. There is so much ‘shaming’ within society and even more so within many religious/unhealthy churches.

    Society is built on shame and ego. I am starting to see this so very clearly.

    Church people often ‘shame’ people, tell them they are not praying hard enough, not a ‘good enough Christian, deliver judgmental sermons, have immature church rules/expectations, and a lot of shaming people and pretending to be wonderful Christians, when really it is just a mask, to cover the real person. I have seen this all unfold.

    Both often tell abuse survivors they are not healing quick enough, ‘acting like a victim’, not strong enough etc.

    I stay away from anyone like this now. Their unhealthy issues, don’t need to pollute my mind, heart or soul.

    It is boundaries needed for my healing and for my wellbeing. And I encourage everyone to consider having boundaries to protect their healing journey.

    ❤ ❤