Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I need ‘no contact’ with narcisistic people, to protect my healing. And that *is* okay…

2 Comments

 

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I have to have ‘no contact’ with narcissistic/sociopathic traits people.

They trigger me far too much, due to all the severe abuse in the first 20 years of my life from narcissistic/sociopathic abusers/parents.

It isn’t because I hate people who have mental health issues, like narcissism. I don’t hate them. I wish they could be healed.

But, *my healing* is more important, than having to have these types of people in my life.

It was a looooooong time, before I realised, I needed to think this way. I was programmed since birth, to accept these behaviours and not have any needed responses back. I was programmed through considerable severe abuse, to believe I deserved nothing more, than these abusive behaviours.

I have also worked on not feel guilty/wrong about this perfectly acceptable need/boundary.

 
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I do realise, I trigger easily and the reason for that – being very skilled at picking up on these narcissist traits/behaviours.
 

I do realise other people consider narcissism, selfishness, egocentricity etc….are fine and have no issues with that. (Which scares/bothers/interests me).
 
This does not mean I believe everyone who exhibits these traits, is a full on narcissist. They are traits, many have.
 
And quite frankly, they scare me. They produce fear in me. They cause considerable anxiety. And I see them everywhere.
 
My hurt, abused, damaged, vulnerable, fragile inner child, who is not yet healed…….cannot cope with these people and what they may do. Because I *know* people who lack empathy, lack remorse, lack conscience, lack integrity, lack emotional wisdom….can cause a lot of harm and often do. In very covert, as well as overt ways.
 
And all this bothers me greatly.
 

And it is totally okay and normal for me to have these reactions, after all I have endured.

I don’t need to justify myself to anyone.

 
My needs – are my needs and there are reasons for them. 
 
And it has been 43 years of abuse and hell…..before I worked this out.
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Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

2 thoughts on “I need ‘no contact’ with narcisistic people, to protect my healing. And that *is* okay…

  1. It’s perfectly understandable and acceptable that you feel this way. Having just read bits about your past, to me, this post demonstrates the strength you have gained during recovery. Now, you know this kind of behaviour is wrong and you are strong enough to say ‘NO’

    • Thank you Cat, I appreciate your understanding – and yes, I think this does show my strength and progression in healing.

      How our needs are important, regardless of what some may think.

      I hope that by sharing my journey, it helps others to know they are not alone in what they go through and how to begin to heal different areas of harm caused.

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