I am very honest about having had a lack of self esteem, allowing many to hurt and harm me, all my life.
I am trying to develop self esteem, and hold on to the positive things people say about me, to try and eventually over-ride all the many terrible, horrible, degrading, nasty, abusive things people have said about me, for decades.
I have noticed, that when I talk about myself in a bad way, I get lots of comments, which is lovely, because people are supporting me and also they are expressing their own feelings of low self worth, self hatred etc.
But, when I speak about myself in a positive way – I often get negative comments.
I make it very clear all the time,
I am not remotely perfect,
I am not healed, I don’t know it all
and I am no better than anyone else.
But, showing some positive aspects of who I am – which also helps other to feel positive about themselves too – is seen by some as wrong.
Being a healthy individual, is not about putting yourself down all the time.
Nor, is it about thinking you are amazing, awesome, wonderful, incredible – all these things people have said to me so many times, which I am always quick to say I am not. I am none of those things.
But, it is healthy to acknowledge my strengths.
And that isn’t having an ego. Or delusions of grandeur. Or ‘loving’ myself.
Because I am very honest and up front about my weaknesses.
Humility, is not about minimizing our strengths,
it is about acknowledging, accepting, being honest
about our weaknesses and being willing to
work on them.
So, when people try to criticise me, for modelling to others some self esteem, those who wish to come along and shit all over that….well all they are doing, is showing their own issues.
Not, that they will want to admit that…….of course.
And yes, I will block them.
I don’t have time, to deal with people like that. I’m not their counsellor.