I get so sick of assumptions, that there is something ‘wrong’ with people with PTSD, or Complex PTSD.
After all the abuse, lies and harm I have endured, from birth, from all significant people in my life, including over the last 2 years…I would be a ‘fool’ not to have trust issues.
Not because I think everyone is a liar, who will hurt me.
But, because I know there are many who are liars, who cause harm.
Getting over trust issues regarding
one person harming you…
is very different to dealing with the
harm caused by as many abusive people
as I have endured in my life.
Bottom line, I trust no-one.
Never have and probably never will.
My subconscious need to protect myself, is far greater, than my need to potentially allow myself to get harmed again.
And I have tried and been burned, badly.
And this ‘I don’t trust anyone’ now, is absolutely needed in one respect – because my PTSD/CPTSD is at the severity level of being life threatening.
So when faced with the dilemma of….
Staying Alive -v- Trust People
Alone In My Fortress Of Distrust -v- Potential Suicide
I will always pick the one that keeps me alive.
And that is okay.
And yes, I see that learning to not be hurt by people harming me, lying to me…would be great in a perfect world where I haven’t already been profoundly harmed and had my life ruined and crushed, by so many abusive people.