This is the first time I have listened/watched this. And there were tears.
I can’t even begin to say how much I agree with everything she says about shame, vulnerability and courage, all being connected.
How society says vulnerability is weakness, and it isn’t at all. It takes great courage to be vulnerable.
I put myself in situations of being vulnerable, all the time. In the last few years, I’ve done it to expose a narc minister, a fraud sociopath claiming to have cancer/PTSD & more recently a narc/lying page admin.
I told everyone I have PTSD and I am open about all of who I am. Which takes great courage and has absolutely put me in a place of vulnerability.
And I have received ‘messages’ from many, how this is wrong. How it is weakness to have PTSD or speak about it and had weak people use that as a scapegoat for their own failings.
I’ve been told my boundaries aren’t good enough, I shouldn’t expose abusers, I shouldn’t write about myself so openly. I’ve been ridiculed, mocked, disbelieved, ignored, shamed, put down, lied about, and told that everything I am, is wrong.
And yet everything I have done, is about courage, by allowing myself to be vulnerable, to what is right and what I know is needed. Despite how I get treated by others and that is often badly.
It takes great courage to write about myself as honestly as I do. Speak about feeling suicidal, how I know I have a hurt inner child, the abuse I have endured etc
I’ve always known that hiding who you really are – as so many do, is about weakness, driven by shame.
I’ve always known those who wear masks, and pretend to be who they are not, are lacking in courage and are not genuine.
I’ve always known that lying – is about lack of courage.
I’ve always known I need to be an authentic person, and be real, raw and honest and how in the process I have met great opposition, abuse and scorn, for being who I am.
I agree shame is an epidemic. People think vulnerability is weakness, and it isn’t, it’s courage.
And those who cannot have vulnerability, because they don’t have the courage, then ‘shame’ others for being courageously vulnerable.