I know one of Robin William’s most famous quotes, is about the worst loneliness, being when surrounded by people and still feeling alone.
I don’t know if I can cope with spending the rest of my life, with no-one in it who can help me. No-one who understands me. No-one who ‘gets’ me.
I have a huge need for this in my life, no doubt unmet needs from childhood.
I am supposed to have positive inner dialogue at this point. Soothe my inner child.
To say what though?
“Yes, there is no-one in my life helping me emotionally in the way I desperately need, no-one safe enough, just like there wasn’t when I was a child.”
I can’t lie to myself. I’m kinda against the whole lying and ‘deluding self’ behaviours. Actually, I’m a ‘lot’ against it.
Maybe just get used to saying ‘It’s just me and you kid”.
I guess, I’m going to have to be ‘okay’ with not having this enlightened witness, not having a ‘safe enough’ relationship, not having this deep emotional connection, this huge desperate, unmet need…. not being met.
Maybe, it would be better to believe again, I don’t deserve these needs met.
Than to know, I do. And not have them met.
I hate my life.