I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey.
I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more.
Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing.
Complex trauma produces complex adults.
The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
your life isn’t over dear Lucy and you are bringing healing and hope to people all over the world. I have an exercise (I made it up) where I go back to a painful memory as grown me and I hug young me and say “I know it is awful now but I love you and keep going and everything will be OK.” It took me until this year to be able to do this because I had been programmed to blame young me.
I went “no contact” a few months ago and it is scary but deliciously liberating. I have not one person who is on my side either so I must be strong for young me, now me and future me.
❤
Dont think it is easy or I dont have sometimes almost unmanageable flash backs but I do feel quite a lot of joy often which is something the abusers will never experience. They are joyless which is their punishment. I have no desire to punish them, my reward is not having to interact with them any more. I feel gratitude for that and of course a bit guilty.
I'm not great at soothing my inner child. I do sometimes, but others times, I just don't have the capacity. It is a learning journey and I hope to get better at it.
I am so thankful, you have been able to go no contact and remove toxicity, but I understand how hard it is. I am glad you can feel joy too ❤
I do have moment of joy, but they seem insignificant, amidst all the far greater levels of pain, grieving and loneliness.
Again, I hope this will improve in the future, as my journey progresses.
Parents don’t realize the vast amount of power they possess over their children. I’m sorry your mother abused this power. But now that you are an adult, you have the power to love and nurture the hurting child inside. Be kind to yourself. Love can heal a great many things. 💙
Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD 
September 9, 2014 at 11:33 pm
your life isn’t over dear Lucy and you are bringing healing and hope to people all over the world. I have an exercise (I made it up) where I go back to a painful memory as grown me and I hug young me and say “I know it is awful now but I love you and keep going and everything will be OK.” It took me until this year to be able to do this because I had been programmed to blame young me.
I went “no contact” a few months ago and it is scary but deliciously liberating. I have not one person who is on my side either so I must be strong for young me, now me and future me.
❤
Dont think it is easy or I dont have sometimes almost unmanageable flash backs but I do feel quite a lot of joy often which is something the abusers will never experience. They are joyless which is their punishment. I have no desire to punish them, my reward is not having to interact with them any more. I feel gratitude for that and of course a bit guilty.
September 10, 2014 at 6:19 am
Thank you ❤
I'm not great at soothing my inner child. I do sometimes, but others times, I just don't have the capacity. It is a learning journey and I hope to get better at it.
I am so thankful, you have been able to go no contact and remove toxicity, but I understand how hard it is. I am glad you can feel joy too ❤
I do have moment of joy, but they seem insignificant, amidst all the far greater levels of pain, grieving and loneliness.
Again, I hope this will improve in the future, as my journey progresses.
I have to keep having hope.
September 10, 2014 at 5:10 am
Took a lot of the words right out of my mouth, so to speak.
September 10, 2014 at 6:19 am
❤ ❤
June 14, 2016 at 5:29 am
Parents don’t realize the vast amount of power they possess over their children. I’m sorry your mother abused this power. But now that you are an adult, you have the power to love and nurture the hurting child inside. Be kind to yourself. Love can heal a great many things. 💙