Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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Oscar Pistorius gets not guilty for murder….another psychopath who ‘got away with it’?

Neighbour heard ‘blood curdling screams’ before the shots were fired.

Text messages showed the victim was scared of him and how he ‘snaps’ at her.

Evidence of his controlling behaviour over the now deceased.

Already committed other offences with a gun.

All hallmarks of a psychopath.

No, I wasn’t at the trial.

But, I do know how it takes very little to persuade a not guilty verdict, and expensive lawyers – often psychopaths themselves – achieve not guilty verdicts for other psychopaths all the time.

Lawyer – being the 2nd of the list of top careers psychopaths are drawn to. Judges are often psychopaths too, for this very same reason. And they can be paid off. I’m not suggesting the presiding judge in this case was. But, I’m not saying it isn’t a possibility in any case, especially the high profile, rich people, cases. Continue reading

What Abuse Survivors Don’t Know: Ten Life-Changing Truths to Embrace on the Healing Journey

Powerful words, all abuse survivors need to know!

Self-Care Haven by Shahida Arabi

I'm somewhere between feeling like a victim or a survivor.   The hope vs despair part is a daily struggle.

The journey to healing from emotional and/or physical abuse requires us to revolutionize our thinking about relationships, self-love, self-respect and self-compassion. Abusive relationships often serve as the catalyst for incredible change and have the potential to motivate us towards empowerment and strength, should we take advantage of our new agency.

Here are ten life-changing truths abuse survivors must embrace along this journey, though it may appear challenging to do so.

1. It was not your fault. Victim-blaming is rampant both in society and even within the mental landscapes of abuse survivors themselves. Recently, the victim-blaming and the mythical “ease” of leaving an abusive relationship has been challenged in the public discourse. Accepting  that the pathology of another person and the abuse he or she inflicted upon you is not under your control can be quite challenging when you’ve been told otherwise,  by the abuser, the public and even by those close…

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She knows what it’s like to be torn down. Many times. By so many people.

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My life has sadly been a considerable

amount of abuse & being torn down

by so many people.

No matter what their reasons..

it was still choices they made.

So, I try really hard, to build

up abuse survivors,

to help them deal with

the intense pain and shame

abuse causes long term.

I try to help people up,

because very few have ever

wanted to help me up.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario


It goes with the territory…helping others, responsibility, speaking up, fair play & hope for all….

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“You are a tender touch, a helping hand and a gentle smile.

And you are also much more powerful than you can imagine.

And one responsibility for those who have discovered their power is stand up and speak up–demanding opportunity, fair play and hope for all.

It just goes with the territory.”

A dear friend tagged me into a post with these words ❤

So very true.


My son being told lies by a narcissist, via their child, pisses me off.

My son, has let me know the lies the narcissist pastor – Andrew Allinson, is telling his children, and how that has been passed on to my children.

Clearly their son has been ‘told’ what to say.

Their son believes, and has told mine they are moving to a ‘bigger church’. It isn’t bigger at all, it only has one pastor, and is  much smaller than the one he is currently at, which has three full time pastors.

The truth is, it’s a little church in the back of beyond, where they have had a temporary pastor for quite some time and were desperate.

He also told my son, his father is really excited about being ‘in charge’. Yes, I’m sure his narcissistic ego is loving the idea of that. Continue reading


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Not allowing ‘anyone’ to hurt/shame me, means I am losing and grieving a lot of relationships.

My work in healing over the last few years, means I have come to realise how much abuse I have tolerated, because of several reasons. Fear of abandonment being one. Not having self worth, another. Being so ‘used’ to it, means it was just my life.

Now, I won’t tolerate it.

But, this means over the last few years, a lot of people have been cut out of my life and I am grieving them all.

It becomes a very lonely place, when you are not prepared to allow others to minimize your pain, shame you, force their views on you, flaunt their views in your face etc.

My need to not allow this anymore and my need to shut people like this out…means a lot of people are placed into the ‘you cannot be trusted, you are hurting me, you must be gone from my life’ pile…meaning I am ejecting some people out of my life, who are not intentionally hurting me.

But, I can’t cope with it. Once those red flags have been alerted and I know they are hurting me, whether intentionally, or not…my capacity to allow them to remain in my life, becomes zero.

One example is how people, view abusive people. Continue reading