Had to go to the public hospital that has an acute services department for mental health, today. Never been before. Didn’t believe I would ever need to either. But, I was wrong.
They were nice. Had to wait ages, as in any public hospital for emergencies.
The mental health nurse was pleasant. Had to talk about what has happened over the last few months, to make my emotional state lower. Told her I nearly ended my life several weeks back, and now I don’t feel safe to be alone. Told her I had a big row with my husband and I can’t handle people lying to me and these things push me over the edge.
I feel like I’m just treading water and it take very little for me to start going under.
Explained I have had to process horrific things about my past and my parents and the abuse I endured and I know I haven’t dealt with the pain of all that yet. I haven’t dealt with how I feel about my mother being complicit in it. Continue reading