When everything is falling apart, the fear this causes me, is unbearable. Too much has happened in the last few months. Too much affecting me and my emotional state.
I am in a situation now, that I fear the most. No-one in my life, I can trust. This is a very unsafe situation for me, when suicidal thoughts are never far away.
The fact remains, you can never trust people. And I know this. But, I always want it. I need it. It a deep profound need within me, that I cannot change, or get rid of.
The hospital didn’t phone today, as they said they would. Obviously me saying I was having suicidal thoughts, isn’t a priority to them. I guess they were busy with other people who were a priority. Continue reading