Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Wow, some very powerful words for me, by a community member, about empathy destroying me.


This message was posted onto my Facebook page, and it is a message I know comes from a good heart, with good intentions and they are very powerful words, I need to think about.

I am so blessed to have people, with such kindness in their hearts, they send long messages like this for me, to help me.

Sweetheart, you are BEAUTIFUL as you are. No need to change. But, if this empathy hurts you, keeps you trapped in PTSD, there might be different ways for dealing with it that can give you more relief. You should NOT change your values or who you are – but, there might be different ways of dealing with your empathy.

As I see it, you can either allow it to destroy you or you can find a way to channel it into other positive actions. You are already channeling it into positive actions by helping others. But there is also another step that I have learned – sort of an acceptance of the pain without it’s destroying me (if that makes sense). I tell myself that if American slaves can enjoy life (typically with a strong spiritual life) inspite of extreme abuse and neglect…..if Holocaust survivors can survive and recover…….then I can survive whatever hell I must walk through too……and I hang onto the firm belief that I can and will stay strong enough such that I can and will recover as soon as the problems are removed…….

This makes it more survivable. This removes the extreme shock with each new insult. This removes many of the PTSD features.

I am only trying to explain this to help you to stay strong – I am in no way judging you – you are one of the most beautiful souls I have had the pleasure of meeting. The problem is, the most beautiful souls in life are often the souls that are in the most pain. There must be a way to stay beautiful yet also remove some of the pain. Think of how much more good you can do in your life if you find even more strength…….

Actually……it just hit me……the pain that I feel as a reasonably empathic person (but not as empathic as you) dealing with a VERY bad life situation is probably the pain that you feel every day – because even things that the average person accepts as funny (Funniest Home Viedoes) cause extreme pain to you. Your life probably feels like living in a world filled with psychopaths – with daily reminders…….

I understand and empathize with that. I know how exhausting it gets to live like this for too many years. I have the luxury of knowing that eventually, my hell must stop (one way or another)….and the belief that I can heal once it is over. You probably do not have that……..because you will be hurt every day of your life for the rest of your life if you allow yourself to continue to see all of the wrongs in this world.

My previous comment is still a wish for you……but I think that I realize now that it is probably not possible because of your extreme empathy.

I wonder how Mother Theresa survived emotionally / psychologically? Ghandi? How did they do it?

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

4 thoughts on “Wow, some very powerful words for me, by a community member, about empathy destroying me.

  1. I recently stopped addressing my trauma after 24 years of therapy. I thought I had more to address, when in fact I kept re-traumatizing myself. I had to stop and think when is enough enough? When someone special told me that I am perfect just the way I am, and he didn’t know what I was continuing to seek, hit me like a ton of bricks. I love him more for it.

  2. I’m so sorry ❤ Has he left, or is it an argument? I hope you are okay? ❤