Having just realised, this is why people can have such unhealthy views about abuse like ‘feeling grateful for the abuse, because it makes us strong’ – which makes me annoyed….no I do not have to feel ‘grateful’ for it at all….that is glorifying abuse, and saying what the abusers did is ‘okay’, ‘needed’ ‘justifiable…
I see these issues are ‘rationalizing’.
Oh my, how much do we all do this…!!
I have rationalized that it is okay for me to get really hurt, when exposing abusers, having to deal with all their shit, all their supporters/apaths, and it’s okay if I get hurt over and over, because in my head it is ‘needed’. Despite the fact that I am not strong enough to deal with it…..and I’ve kinda had my share of abuse…actually far more than ‘my share’. No-one should ever have any ‘share’.
It goes deeper than this for me, with all my complex trauma issues; ‘I am bad’ core beliefs, poor boundaries to protect myself from ongoing harm, and my feelings of being responsible etc etc….
People can choose to rationalize abuse, because it makes it feel easier to deal with. Continue reading