Reading Homecoming: Reclaiming and Healing Your Inner Child – John Bradshaw

I know what I really want for Christmas. I want my childhood back. Nobody is going to give me that.… I know it doesn’t make sense, but since when is Christmas about sense, anyway? It is about a child of long ago and far away, and it is about the child of now. In you and me. Waiting behind the door of our hearts for something wonderful to happen.

~ ROBERT FULGHUM

Bradshaw, John (2013-04-24). Homecoming: Reclaiming and Healing Your Inner Child . Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

Inner Child Healing – in a ‘safe’ environment, is definitely needed for my healing.

Even though there are some things I am avoiding at the moment, the good part has been the inner child healing I have been able to focus on over the last few weeks. It has been good timing with my 5 year old home for the school holidays. We have played a lot with the tree house I bought us and enjoyed children’s craft. And while I am ‘playing’, I am not zoned out, to the extent I get to, whenever the thoughts about all the trauma processing come into my head.

I don’t think this is mindfulness, because I am really not skilled at mindfulness. I think it is just good old 100% PTSD avoidance. But, it is interesting, that while avoiding, I have used the time, to focus on healthy, healing needs, so that’s progress.

I feel drawn to this inner child healing, playing and allowing myself, to experience, things I didn’t have when I was a child.

And more importantly in a ‘safe’ environment.

This I realised today, is the vital, key part of this. I do feel safe, doing this at home, either with my child, or by myself. I know having read about inner child healing – addressing the ‘safe’ need, is one of the most important steps.

In my childhood, I was never allowed to be a child and I was never safe, so to create a safe environment, for my inner child – is addressing my profoundly unmet childhood needs.

Some things I have been doing that are good.

It is very easy for me to focus on the negative of what I ‘should’ be doing, but ‘failing’ at.

So, I am going to think about what I have done this last week, that is okay, positive.

* I went for a walk at the local dam, where it was peaceful and soul soothing.

* I have been doing lots of craft, reading, playing with my 5 year old, as he is on school holidays. Which is good for him and good for my inner child. It is a win-win situation for us both. School holidays are usually hard for me and my husband is on nights = grumpy husband, so I’ve done okay.

* I have been spending less time overall on social media.

* I have not been keeping myself ‘updated’ with anything abusive/unhealthy people are doing.