Even though there are some things I am avoiding at the moment, the good part has been the inner child healing I have been able to focus on over the last few weeks. It has been good timing with my 5 year old home for the school holidays. We have played a lot with the tree house I bought us and enjoyed children’s craft. And while I am ‘playing’, I am not zoned out, to the extent I get to, whenever the thoughts about all the trauma processing come into my head.
I don’t think this is mindfulness, because I am really not skilled at mindfulness. I think it is just good old 100% PTSD avoidance. But, it is interesting, that while avoiding, I have used the time, to focus on healthy, healing needs, so that’s progress.
I feel drawn to this inner child healing, playing and allowing myself, to experience, things I didn’t have when I was a child.
And more importantly in a ‘safe’ environment.
This I realised today, is the vital, key part of this. I do feel safe, doing this at home, either with my child, or by myself. I know having read about inner child healing – addressing the ‘safe’ need, is one of the most important steps.
In my childhood, I was never allowed to be a child and I was never safe, so to create a safe environment, for my inner child – is addressing my profoundly unmet childhood needs.
I also think about and talk to Jesus, and feel His presence, which I never felt as a child. This helps create that safety and love I didn’t have too.
I have white shelving units in my hallway area, that currently hold books, some of my scrapbooking and crafty things I have previously made and feminine stuff. As I live in a house full of males, I have my ‘girlie’ area. I have decided to dedicate that area to my inner child. It can display the girlie things I make and sit my cute rag doll there, plus teddy’s I have collected. I’m going to move the books and just have it as girlie stuff. I’m going to put a pic of me as a child, in a frame and have that there too.
I realise, my inner child, is not one age, I have a hurt inner young child, child aged 10/11 ‘ish and a teenager – all were very alone, very abused, very neglected. I want to experience some good things I never had at these ages, and to be safe.
It had been interesting starting to do a little research about the ‘Inner Child’. How this psychology understanding, first originated through Carl Jung and has become a recognised psychology therapy approach to healing from child abuse.
I have noted that John Bradshaw (a Christian) and has produced extensive work regarding Inner Child work and I have Kindle downloaded his book ‘HOMECOMING: Reclaiming & Healing Your Inner Child’, which I am going to start reading tonight.
~ Lilly Hope Lucario
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