Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Wise enough to know…when I’m not wise enough.

Wrote this on my Lilly Hope Lucario FB page..

As we were waiting outside my 5 year olds classroom this morning, another mother speaking to her 5 year old son..

“If you keep messing I’m gonna smack ya and all your friends will see and they’ll all laugh at ya”.

Then she looked at me and smiled, as if she thought what she said was funny and I was going to smile back. It took every ounce of strength in me to not say to her..

“Do you realise how emotionally and psychologically abusive it is to say that to your child and that smacking is physical abuse, as per neuroscience and child development/psychology.”

I think my facial response, was probably enough for her to realise, I didn’t agree or think what she said was amusing.

Poor parenting, is the cause of much harm, abuse and mental health in the world.

Several responses were stated including how some would have said something anyway and too many ignore abuse, which is do understand but this was my response..

Yes, too many do turn a blind eye to child abuse. I think if she had hit him, I would of probably said something.

I’m also aware that in the moment of what occurred, my emotions became heightened, and I will react in an annoyed way – which will only annoy her and not have any positive affect. And I wouldn’t want to say something just to relieve ‘my’ annoyance, I would only want to speak in a way that would actually help the child.

So, if in the moment I am emotional, I know I need to keep quiet, because it’s not about me, it’s about the child.

I hope to become someone who can remain calm, and speak in a way in those situations that will be beneficial and hopefully have a positive outcome

To which someone stated this was wise, but to maybe have a word quietly and say I will report her if I see her hurting her child. My response was…

Plus, I do have to think about my son being in her child’s class.

She is a tough, mouthy kind of woman and I don’t want my child possibly becoming involved or bullied as a result.

I know what people can be like and will use children to ‘get back’ at people that have pissed them off. Got stop and think about all eventualities.

I don’t agree with ignoring abuse, but I do accept my limitations in dealing with emotive issues as they occur, and consider all possible issues that may occur.

I am wise enough to know to consider it all, consider needed boundaries for me and my child…….but wise enough to know when I am not wise enough to speak up about things in the moment appropriately.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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