Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

People have a great capacity to ‘rationalise’ their own behaviours.

Rationalisation, is a cognitive distortion people use, to justify something with illogical reasoning.

As per DSM  – Rationalization occurs “when the individual deals with emotional conflict or internal or external stressors by concealing the true motivations for his or her own thoughts, actions, or feelings through the elaboration of reassuring or self serving but incorrect explanations.

This became very apparent during the conversation with an ex soldier, who wanted to rationalise himself having psychopath traits, and the capacity to switch off emotions during killing and harming people.

He needs to rationalise this as okay – to get the job done and also then rationalising this further, by saying ‘everyone’ has some of this in these ‘psycho traits’, as he calls it.

All completely wrong. I don’t have any capacity to switch off my emotions to cause harm to another human being. I have involuntary (I can’t choose it) dissociation to cope with harm being caused to me, but I don’t ever have the chosen capacity to remove emotions to cause harm. There is a huge difference. But to this ex-soldier, he ‘wants’ to believe these are the same.

Of course rationalisation, is always followed by cognitive dissonance – where you can show someone evidence that proves their thought process and the belief they are holding onto so tightly, is completely wrong, and they will still refuse to let go of their beliefs.

A lot of this is fear and shame based.

“I killed people in cold blood, no emotions, it was for my job, that makes it okay, and because I have that capacity – so must everyone/most people”.

It makes him feel better to believe this is common.

It’s like narcissist who believe everyone is a liar, because they are, believes everyone is manipulative and uses people and rationalises this is okay.

What the person is doing, is completely avoiding truth and reality, guilt, shame, and rationalising it all – which is all cognitive distortion, all poor mental health and no self insight, or capacity to be real about what and who they are, what they have done.

And interestingly, they always get nasty, either overtly, or covertly, if you challenge them, by attacking you, telling you how they think you are wrong, attacking your character and your empathy, again more behaviour to protect their shame. All showing their lack of empathy, showing more of their ‘psycho’ traits, as this person called it.

I can’t have people like that in my life.

I have strong reactions to people with these personality disorder traits. Doesn’t mean I hate them, but I strongly dislike their traits, their lack of capacity to be truthful and real about who they are. Their need to believe anything to avoid their shame, including hurting others in the process.

I realise there are few with the capacity to have self insight and be real and honest about who they are, but while I am healing, it is good self care for me to keep myself away from unhealthy people.

Author: Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

I am a survivor of complex and multiple trauma and abuse, who at the age of 40, began my healing journey. I am using my journey to recovery and healing, to help others, to help survivors feel less alone, validated, encouraged and to enable others to understand themselves more. Complex trauma, particularly from severe, prolonged childhood abuse, is profoundly life changing. Complex trauma produces complex adults. The journey to recovery is a painful, often lonely, emotional daily challenge and it is my aim to encourage others in their daily battle. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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