Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

My name is Helen – I have PTSD and am not demon posessed.

I agree with everything written in this Blog and I too, am over hearing abusive and deeply hurtful comments about mental health from church people.
I applaud Helen for writing this.
❤ ❤


Its been a while since I’ve written, but today is World Mental Health Day – a day in which millions of people have been tweeting using the #worldmentalhealthday hashtag, and under many others too – and I felt compelled to put a few thoughts down.

There have been some amazing blogs written today and I am under no illusion that this is going to be one of them. It isn’t.

This morning, on a rare day off I spent a few hours on the sofa, listening to music and catching up on the online world – on Facebook, twitter, emails, blogs etc. I saw a few tweets and then got into a conversation with some friends/people I’ve been connected with for a long time. And we were talking about it being World Mental Health Day.

And I got thinking about my experience. My experiences. Of mental health issues, and specifically…

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My son “it’s okay if you go outside the lines a bit”.

Today, my 5 year old and my inner child had a ‘creative play date’ 🙂

My husband and older son went to the soccer game, so my youngest and I had time together and as he was a little upset he couldn’t go to the soccer, I said we would have fun doing creative things and drawing/colouring etc.

My son and I love it! I showed him how I to draw trees the way I did as a child and he is so quick picking up everything, he could draw them so well. We had fun drawing and then did some sticker books, with scenes you can add stickers to.

Then we did some colouring together and he helped me colour my picture too. He was really funny and cute – while watching me really concentrating as I was colouring, he said to me in a re-assuring way ‘it’s okay if you go outside the lines a bit’. And I agreed with him. Something my inner child needed hear too.

Glad my son knows he doesn’t have to be perfect and has that inner security ❤

And my inner child knows she is loved now too. Even when she is not perfect ❤

My son and my inner child, had lots of fun!

Felt so sad listening to Stephen Fry talk about his mental health.

I felt really sad listening to Stephen Fry talking about his mental health on the TV just now.  The part that made me feel sad, was him say that if he ‘wasn’t able to continue his career due to medication, he would have nothing’.

This highlights my understanding of people focussing on outer pursuits/success/career as something so vital, that without it, it can mean someone feels they have nothing to live for.

To achieve inner peace with self, not dependent on anything else (other than Faith), is how to heal.

 When we focus on anything outside of that, it can be taken away from us, we can lose it. We become dependent on something we can’t necessarily have control over.

I’ve read many times now Robin Williams being diagnosed with Parkinson’s and that affecting his future career, was probably a factor in his suicide. Without his capacity to continue in his career, he felt he had nothing to live for.

And I am in no way judging either of them. I have internal conflict, and have been suicidal many times. I know that pain. But I see and feel that sadness, the pain, the desperation, the conflict within them and they are/were such beautiful people, I just wish it were different for them both. I wish they had more peace and realised they are far more than just their careers.
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Understanding the conflict within me.

A post to my new Inner Child Healing Community page @ https://www.facebook.com/healingcomplextraumainnerchild

Have you felt internally conflicted in the past?

And now realise this was your inner child within?

I have always felt conflicted, like I have different parts of me, all having different needs:

My old soul – that has always been decades ahead of my years
My 43 year old woman/wife/mother
My young inner child
My teenager inner child.

They all have different needs and emotions and I have always felt when I satisfy one, I am still internally conflicted.

Now, I am realising I do have genuine reasons for all this and it’s okay.

It does feel a relief, to finally understand all this internal conflict and how much self insight and courage it takes, to acknowledge this.

Lilly ❤

To know everyone has an inner child, hurt to varying degrees, even if they have no self insight into this, has helped me realise my capacity to have self insight and be very honest and upfront about it, further validates my inner strength and courage.
To know my inner child/teenager is very hurt, grieving, scared, needy, but also has needs to play, have fun and most of all, feel safe…is liberating.

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