I wish I didn’t have discernment and vigilance, to see so much dishonesty.

Due to due my life, my mind is continually in a switched on state of vigilance and coupled with discernment, means I take everything in and work people out.

It makes my life hard. I see issues in people and where they have little self insight and are deluded.

I see when people are saying one thing….but actually doing another.

I see when people are deluding themselves into doing something for others…but really it is for themselves.

I see when people are justifying things to themselves, excusing their behaviour, have ego driven needs and many other issues.

I see so much dishonesty, whether intentional or non intentional, and it always makes me feel deeply uncomfortable.

And not because I think that makes

everyone bad, I don’t at all,

but because if they are lying

to themselves,

then they are lying to me.

And I can’t cope with that. I’ve had so many people hurt me due to lies. It scares me. It frightens me. It makes me even more vigilant around that person, and everything they say is analysed and considered.

Ministers like Mark Driscoll, need to be told, to just shut up and go find a decent Bible college.

In light of Mark Driscoll being forced to resign, I am re-blogging this – as despite being told I am wrong about Driscoll’s obvious narcissism, it turns out I was right all along.
And anyone who believes his apologies are genuine, is a fool.
Narcs only apologise when they need to do damage control or are forced to.
Driscoll has been a narc all long, so why would anyone trust ‘any’ of what he has spoken about. He is so wrong Biblically in much of what he has been preaching. He has never been a witness for Jesus.
The Bible warns us to watch out for narcs, wolves in sheep’s clothing, false ministers.
My insight and discernment, proven accurate. Again.

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

http://coolingtwilight.com/mark-driscoll-doesnt-want-you-to-study-the-bible/
http://jezebel.com/worst-guy-ever-alert-beware-of-horrible-hipster-pastor-1477472909
http://marshillrefuge.blogspot.com.au/

Mark Driscoll, is the worst kind of (false) minister and definitely should not be someone to be looked up to.

He believes ‘the minister is the authority in a church and to question him, is sin’. Because ministers never get it wrong….okay.

He actively frowns on people looking at the Greek original meaning of verses and words. This to him is sin, is wrong. You just have to believe him, and never question him…okay.

He actively dissuades people from learning the Bible. Only he can interpret it, and you don’t need to study it…okay.

He insists on harsh and strict Church discipline, and requires members to sign and adhere to a strict membership covenant….gotta abide by church rules, or you will be harshly punished….okay.

View original post 147 more words

Feeling very alone. Again.

Yesterday, was a bad day. Far too many triggers, far too many horrific memories, plus anger, hurt, fear, betrayal, despair all felt and experienced again. It continues today.

I am trying, but failing right now, to not believe this is never going to end.

I know my history is severe, so much abuse, so many abusers. I know managing severe complex PTSD, is a massive daily challenge. I know I should have self compassion.

But, I hate all this.

I hate knowing this was all caused by people. People who were supposed to love me. And everyone just wants to make excuses for them. Even though their actions were intentional, deliberate, they knew it was wrong.